What happened to my optimism?

Well yesterday I had a really bad day. I felt like I took ten steps backwards. I felt alright in the morning but I had nightmares, I woke up sweating my ass off, screaming. All I can really remember from the dream was a little ghost boy. He was talking to me by the foot of the bed. I woke up a little shaken but I had plans with a friend but when I got in the car to drive to my friends house I started having car anxiety. Its been a long while since this has occurred to the extreme that it was yesterday. All I wanted to do was pull over! I made it there fine, and we had a nice time but she has a lot of issues of her own so it wasn't the most pleasant afternoon. Then it rained and I had to drive home while it was sprinkling and I swear the car was slipping out from underneath me the whole ride home. I made it home, and the rest of the evening was alright. I told my boyfriend and my mom about it, I cried a little over it, I hate the feeling I get in the car. I just wanna be alright, I hate being afraid of driving. The other day about three days ago now, I got a hold of my doctor, my lady doctor finally. I had a pap smear a couple weeks ago and I wanted my results. Sh told me I had minor cervical changes, and that there is nothing to worry about, they will re-pap me next June. A WHOLE YEAR AWAY. Nothing to worry about you say? She must not know me at all, I will now be worrying for a whole year that there is something wrong with me! It could be nothing, but hell it could be cancer! So now I am convinced I have cervical cancer and will not be able to ever have kids. I am sure this is fueling my car anxiety I had yesterday. I also just got new tires on the car, which may be why I felt every bump in the road. UGH, I just hate this. I felt like I was over this petty worrying about stupid shit. I can't control my worrying right now and it is driving me up a wall. Today I am pretty calm but yesterday was hell! All I was focused on was I was gonna wreak and that I had cancer growing inside me. I also felt every ache and gurgle that my body made and with every little tickle of something on my body I would jump and try to figure out what was wrong. I haven't done this sort of thing in months. I really wish I could remember my dream maybe it also is fueling this sudden anxiety. My life is going fine, I am working, making money planning on the future. But again this is surface things. From the outside I look "perfect" but on the inside I am far from it apparently. My guilt isn't overwhelming me, I am open and honest about my feelings about the accident. I have been praying and talking to God about taking his life, so I don't think my anxiety is from that, IDK what it could be? Well I do have some idea, lets not kid myself, I am scared shit less about my test results for one. The thought that there is something wrong with me, eats me alive. I wanna be strong and healthy I don't wanna be sick, have to take medicine, get chemo and surgery. I wanna have kids one day I don't want them to take that from me. I know if it is Gods way then it must be like that but It would hurt so bad not to have children of my own. I have dreamed about it my entire life, if that choice was taken away from me I would be devastated. I guess my mind is just preparing me for the worst. My boyfriend always says I always think of the worst possible outcome. What happened to my optimism? I used to always look at the bright side of every situation, has life taken that from me? have I surcome to being a negative nancy? That isn;t who I want to be. That really isn't who I am. I know whatever happens I will deal with it the best I can. I always have and always will. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I am focusing on getting over this anxiety and dealing with whatever more comes my way. I feel God is on my side, I have a lot of family and support so I don;t need to be afraid of anything. It is easier said than done, but I like a challenge.