What Happened?

I don't know who to turn to. I feel so depressed and anxious, all of the time. I have tried to tell my mother but she doesn't listen to me. She simply brushes it off with  a "think positively." I don't need that shit I just fired my therapist and psychiatrist. I am not completely alone. I don't know who to talk to other than my computer. I have talked to my father and he tries to cheer me up or, for the time being, tries to work with me to work through my problems. But this doesn't help me much as one might guess.  I cant sleep anymore. I wake up numerous time at night and cant get back to sleep. I worry about everything possible. I am trying to do the sleep hygiene but it is not working anymore. I simply find myself sleeping more and more, yet when I want to sleep I can't because of the mania.  I have been trying to contact my friends so we can go out and I never come out with a response.  It's so depressing to get a response such as this. I don't think that they are trying to hurt me...I am just hurt in the process. I have lost my connection to school, student government, my old dorm buddies, and my knowledge. I cant sit and read a book anymore.  I want my old life back or I want no life at all. I want to either take pills that work or not take them at all. My suicidal envisions are back. They have resurfaced about two weeks ago.  I don't know what to do! I don't even have the support of my mother. She doesn't know what is happening to me and I am right under her nose.  Tomorrow I am seeing a Nurse Practitioner at 10am and then I am off to see Nuboku she is a healer and my mom thinks that it would be good for me to see a healer instead of a therapist. I hope that this all goes well. My belief in all of this is minimal and I am not sure if I will be able to believe in it enough for it to be beneficial to me. What do I do? Where do I go? Who can help me?