What do I want from him?

What is it I want from him? I don't even know. I don't want him back. I'd like to know he's not as happy as I think. That his kids think he's an douche for leaving their mom. That he can't sleep after having sex with her because he feels so guilty thinking of me. That at some point he actually cares about me and my new life. I know that will never happen and badgering him to say "I'm sorry" or admit he screwed me over and made an immoral decision to leave is NOT EVER going to happen. Then what do I want? If he did meet any of my expectations would it satisfy me? Would I accept the failed marriage and person he really is at that point? Would I move on? I just want him to suffer, unfortunately. All I ever wanted was to be heard and understood. Treated with respect and dignity. Not patronized or a statistic. I want him to see how wonderful of a person I really am and see all the reasons he fell in love with me. The family he's lost and everything he gave up for his selfish new life. I want him to call my name when he is with her. I want him to be devestated when he realizes the impact his decision made on our kids future. I want him to reflect on our marriage and realize all the things that he could've done with his family, with me. When he looks at old photos of our life together he will be stabbed in the heart with regret. I want him to look at my parents with shame. I want his father to let him know he tried to give him wise counsel but that his ego and pride were more appealing. No. I don't want a man with a past like that to ever commit to me again. I want him to cry, no sob, when a real man that truly loves me with ALL his heart seeks me out. And when he is on his death bed crying to see me to ask for forgiveness I will refuse to be by his side because I will have forgiven him a long time before that moment. I want him to see the real coward that he is for not helping with our daughters new life. I want him to see the moment my daughter walks again and see how my daughter will look at me with adoration for helping her get there. I don't know what I expect right now when texts me. But I do NOT want him in my life anymore.