What day is it???
Today is Thursday, right??? It's hard enough to keep up with what day it is normally, when I am not working, but my sleep schedule is really screwed up so that makes it even worse.
I stayed up late last night, after watching the debate I had to celebrate with friends via Facebook and argue with enemies via Facebook, lol. So I am not sure when I went to bed but I slept till noon...then went back for a nap later in the afternoon and slept till 6pm. So weird, guess I am in for a long night. Fortunately when I am up late my husband has gone to bed so I have the remote!!! HA!!! I am watching a very, very strange Netflix original series titled "Stranger Things". I had heard about it from friends and tried watching it with him one day, but he bailed. Too strange for him...it is hard to figure out (I haven't yet) and he doesn't like to think too hard. Not too deep, that man of mine, but I love him anyway. It is set in the 80's, so it has great music. My little Diva is snuggled beside of me...looking at her reminds me of a quote. I can't remember the author. "My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet." I wish I could clone my two Poms and have them forever, or as long as I am alive. They do it in China, but it is very expensive. I completely reject any ethical issues people may have with it. Of course my mind wanders...what if we could clone Cassi...take a fertilized egg, extract the DNA, insert Cassi's DNA, and implant it into my uterus. That's how they do it with animals, why not humans??? I'd do anything to escape this nightmare.
I have my little dogs, family and friends...I am grateful for my blessings...Still want my baby back.
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Richard told me the story line of a movie... not too long after Cara died... about a boy who was hit by a car and died... The family were able to have the child cloned... I don't remember the story line much after all these years... I think it didn't work out well... Anyway... I thought about how it would work out... or rather how it might... since we didn't have Cara cloned I don't know how it would have worked out... I decided it wouldn't work because Cara wasn't just an organism... a conglomerate mass of DNA cells that walked and talked... she was the sum total of her life's experiences... and so am I... and part of me wants desperately a chance to have Cara back... the 'new' cloned person... wouldn't be Cara... I can't fix all that I did wrong... And if somehow I could recreate/clone Cara... and she ended up as unhappy as she was... and she might... The world is not kind... So I just kind of had to say to myself... there is no fixing this...
I like you spend a lot of time with thoughts about everything chasing through my mind... Its painful... but I do have to say at the end of the day... I lived to the edge of insanity... but I lived... I hope you find some peace that allows you to rest and perhaps you'll be blessed with a visit from Cassi. Hugs to you and Cassi from Elissa and Cara
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have our girls back! I spend a lot of time wondering what life would be like if Lisa had not died. So many trials and tribulations.
On some level I believe that we are here to learn something. I guess ours is learning to cope with loss. I hate it!
Tight hugs
Sending you heartfelt (((hugs))) in this moment. What we wouldn't do to have our BEloveds back with us.
Loving care, to Cassi's mom from Douglas' mom,
XO Joanie