What Anxiety Means

Idk why I wrote this, I'm not a writer, but I felt compelled to put this into words. So many people don't understand what having an anxiety disorder is like, and it can be so hard to explain it to them, so I wrote this as a way to describe it.

Imagine yourself. You're imprisoned in a small room with a dirt floor and concrete walls. You cower against a wall and tremble in fear at what lay in front of you.

On the opposite side of the room are only two things: a cage and a one-way mirror. Within the cage paces a tiger, starved and bloodied, abused. Simply looking at him, there is no doubt about his one and only thought: consuming you.

Behind the mirror sits your captor, idly playing with the rope affixed to the cage door, raising and lowering it unexpectedly, constantly. At each twitch of the rope your body readies itself for the coming attack, heart pounding, breathing shallow, body shaking, mind racing, terror spreading through you, overcoming you, freezing you in dread of what comes next.

Behind you there comes a shout from a crowd of onlookers, here to watch your pain. "Oh, calm down!" says the man. "Just relax, nothing bad even happened yet!" yells another, belittling your fears. Their words trigger a thought: "Don't they see the danger I'm in? How are you so insensitive to the suffering of others?" Still, the tiger craves you, the fear pervades your body, and the ignorance angers you.

This room is my prison. I am forced to live here every day. This is what it means for me to have an anxiety disorder.