what am i to do

Some times I wonder why I am even here on this earth. I dont know why i am here anymore. I dont know what I am going to do anymore. I am at my last straw and things are about to get to the point that I am about to break and lose my mind in this house right now. I just dont know what to do anymore and I am just wanting to get my kids away from here and safe. I just want to get away and be happy., I am so stressed here and unhappy here. I having panic and anxiety attacks daily now bc of how things are here right now and i dont know how much more I can take of this around here. I just need to get us away from here but i have nowhere to go. Rodney hasnt said anything about coming there and i just getting mixed signs from here and i am just at my point with him that I just want to know a yes or a no right now. I just want a straight forward answer and no more mixed signs from anyone at this point. I cant handle it anymore and i am tired of it all too. I am losing sleep from this all and its wearing me out and taking a toll on the kids too. what more do they want from me? tired of my kids always having to get hit all the time from damiem and they act like its normal when its not normal. when are they going to see that they need to get him some help and they are the problem and need to change? but they wont and dont think tthat they never will. They are blind to it all and thats why i have to leave NOW!!!!!