WHAT A WEEK!
Sun., 9-21-08: This past week has just been OFF! Tuesday, I overslept, things were crazy, I finally just called in for a personal day off. I slept most of the day! That night I went to a Compassionate Friends meeting. I am not sure whether the meetings help or hurt! I will really have to give that some thought. At the meeting we talked about the many ways the death of our children have affected us. One of the big ways, for me, is the fear of losing another child. I am in constant fear! My security bubble has been burst. Apparently it has been burst for others in my family, as well. The day before the mtg., I told Chris I got off work at 3:15 p.m., had a couple of errands to run, and should be at his house 4-4:30ish'. So, I did my errands and was running late. (I stuck to my schedule even though I took the day off) At 5:10 p.m I used the phone in Penney's (I don't have a cell) and called him. We were going to dinner at the mall, anyway. I said, "Hey!" He said, "What the Hell is going on!?!?" He was on the other line with my mom who had been calling the hospitals! Really! I was like..."Sorry, I was just doing my errands and there were gliches, so I thought you could just meet me at the restaurant instead of me coming to your house first." Apparently all he heard the day before was 3:15, and then freaked out when I wasn't there. I will have to be more careful to let everyone know where I am in the future & make sure they understand the time frame! Anyway, it all worked out. He had a gift certif. from doing the Spfd. Cardinals All-Star banquet, for J. Bucks, so dinner was his treat. It was a nice restaurant and a great meal! Afterwards, we went to the CF meeting. On Wed., I found out another teacher asst. (para), new this year, is a famous author. Awesome! ( I don't have a clue why he working with us!) He is the great grandson of the author of the Wizard of Oz. He has many books of his own, including Dorothy of Oz. One of his books will even be a movie in 2009, staring Jim Belushi as the Cowerdly Lion. I welcomed him the very first day, knowing what it is like to be the "new kid on the block." I didn't know anything about him, then. Well, the para I work with was all "ga-ga" over this finding. I am not sure he ever,even, talked to him before he found out who he was. It really annoyed me! I welcomed this para "just because", not because of who he is. (I didn't EVEN know!) So annoying! Saturday was okay. Adam & I went shoe shopping for him. We found a pair at the 1st store we went to! That is unheard of! I am sympathetic, 'cause I have a hard time with shoes, too. I even found some for myself! We had lunch and he went to see his new female friend. I then went to Home Depot and found the perfect birthday gift for Chris. I can't tell what it is 'cause he might read this! (He is on this site, somewhere) It was his Dad's idea. Sunday, today, was okay, too. Craig and I went to a small fall festival "thing". We walked around it and then walked around the park. It was nice. We have not done anything like that in a very long time! Afterwards, we "dined" at Taco Bell. Decent day. Now, here I am.... My heart has been aching for Scott all week. I guess that is why it has been "off". I miss him so very much. I miss his humor, his smile, just his being. It hurts so bad!
Replies
Ginger, I have the fear of dying in a car wreck just like Bobby did. I am so scared of I am not behind the wheel. My husband really scares me because of his driving. He has always been this way but I had gotten us to it.
So we all have somekind of a fear it seams like after our children have died. We will always miss our kids. And never know why they had to die so young.
Hope that this week will be better for you.
Love & hugs, Connie
Seems like you had some very good moments this past week - to distract you from the heartache. We all oversleep - especially when we\'re working full-time.
I did it too.....then rushed myself to work - bless you for giving 100% to everything in your life -
Always with you in spirit Ginger, love
I really do think that we hold \"tighter\" to our loved ones after a loss like that. Jamie was my only child, but I know I worry if my hubby is late or if there is no answer at my sisters\' (she\'s disabled, too)--I worry about my nephews (one had heart surgery this year)--you get the idea!! At least you do have another child, and you have someone to love--take comfort in that and know that our lost children are still with us!
I put up some fall decorations this weekend and Jamie\'s picture had to be moved,--oh, the pain of just looking into his eyes--is overwhelming. I love and miss him so much that it is a real physical pain. I understand, Hon, what you are going through and how you feel. We are Moms, after all, and will never be the same. Tight Hugs, Judy
Hi Giger, as everyone else, my biggest fear is loosing another one! I would still like to meet with you one day. The weather is wonderful now, maybe we could do a winery or just lunch somewhere in between. I love to drive, so it could be in your zone. Hubbies or not, your call. Let me know if your game. Jackie
Oh Ginger, it really is a roller coaster isn\'t it? Our weeks are so full of ups and downs. Was life like this before and we didn\'t notice or is it just a result of losing our boys? Charlotte xo
I agree with Charlotte are weeks are up and down, heck even a day can go from good to bad or vise versa. I don\'t worry so much about loosing another child, I worry they\'ll be hurt and I won\'t know. Crazy. Hope the week is goin well. Love and hugs cathy