went to therapy today
I went to therapy just a little while ago. It left me feeling kind of hollow..
I went and got a piece of cake at the Bakery Cafe and now I am back at my place.
I went into therapy feeling like I had some enthusiasm, although I was tired and not really wanting to go,
and then after the fact I don't feel so much confidence or enthusiasm - and I just have to accept it - and think
that I am sure I am not alone in that at times. Fcuk.
When I was with her today I really just opened up and let down my guard. I gave it up. I feel the need to reclaim it.
I hope you guys are having a good day.
Replies
I guess we all need a little tension in our lives so that it keeps us fighting forward. All I know is that when I wrote the above I felt whispy, whistless and not very motivated to do much of anything....quite alone and feeble - but all now I am kind of ruminating again and feeling that value again...I'll do some art and slog through it. :)
and so as the day evolved, i evolved and I feel a sense of lostness or loss - but I know I have to be self responsible about things.
Part of that is making a plan and filling my life up for these moments when I am not so strong - and feel lost. My therapist
and DS.org are great touchstones of solace but in terms of other areas of my life there could be a better or a more focused
effort towards managing/handling them. My work is going ok - but 'getting out and about' is probably a good idea, along with working on art - I have been doing more lately - and it's probably important to recognize that but in these moments of woe and lostness it seems like nothing's enough and there's not anything doing. Perhaps I am over sharing! But writing here is giving me a sense a chance to evaluate fairly what I have been doing...
By the Arf measure, you are not even close to over-sharing, Mark, not even if this wasn't your therapy journal. My spider senses say that even by business party measure, you are still holding back far more than you are sharing, much less over-sharing.
But since this **is** your therapy journal, how is it even possible to over-share? Here, it's all about you, your needs and preferences, Baby. Let 'er rip. Let those who object use the power of their mighty mouse to click onward.
A therapy exercise I was introduced to in the 70's and have kinda grown OCD over is, "Imagine Shangri-la. Your perfect place in the cosmos." Fact is, I suspect I would be bored silly. I think we really do need that bit of unpredictable challenge to keep life interesting.
Thanks Arfie!!