Went to the therapist
I went to the therapist this afternoon and now I feel like I need to heal from that. It has made me realize that on a level we’re all dealing with different shit that comes our way during the day and at the end of it all we have to put ourselves back together. I mean some can do it better than others and for some it is extreme and out of reach. For some, sometimes those coping mechanisms are out of reach and other times we have a better sense of what to do. Sometimes we just have to trudge onward. We all have our coping bag of skills and just putting this together in my head is helping me now go to bed. Peace and good night.
Replies
I’ve heard someone say something that I am reminded of now that after a long day at work he doesn’t go straight to bed but he has to reclaim his day and life. It makes total sense to me and trying to practice that.
In the spirit of practice in reclaiming you day, etc., it farts into my brain that you should give yourself a moment of positive affirmation for surviving the week (or so?) without your therapist. I seem to recall you were a bit worried about that and here you are: Victorious! Proof you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Go you! ! ! You survived another ^one^.
thanks so much arfie!! I will keep that in mind when it's time to reach into the bag of coping skills. I will look for the silver lining for sure!! xxoxox
Sometimes you just need to carry a large shovel....
thanks Kat!
Funny, I am home now after being at the office and I am faced with that transition to ‘being alone time’. It’s seriously hard for me and I talked about it with my therapist as well. Sometimes dipping into my coping skills bag of tricks is seriously out of my depth. So I watch tv, which I have done, I write in my journal which I have done and I eat which I have done. Reminding myself that it’s a challenge to be self responsible puts a challenge kind of edge to tackle it and be proud of what I can do. Maybe sounds silly but I will take what I can get. So I am trying a different perspective and hopefully getting a different, better result.
Being responsible is a big one, when it comes to that bag of tricks my friend, its one of the first ones we tend to forget, it somehow never seems quite so important when applied to ourselves. I can easily be responsible for my sons, people I mentor, certain younger extended family members....those responsibilities come like second nature, I don't have to think about them.....I can so easily not give a damn about being responsible for me at times, it comes just as easily.
I think it may be one of the biggest tools in the bag....learning to be self aware, self responsible, making it a priority.
Nothing about it is silly, you're doing great work Mark, and great work brings its own reward.
Thanks SO much Kat. Really appreciate it.
A surprise I found wrapped in my early willingness to try being okay with the challenges of *just* being myself is that I am not the worthless bag of trash my damaged self-esteem and all too many social bullies told me I was. People make trash. God doesn't. No need to shop for what is already inside of me. I already got what it takes, even if I don't *get* to be a socially acceptable carbon copy.
But I'd still rather be Angelina Jolie. . . I ain't giving up my alternate reality fantasies. Gooder than cable TV. . .
Trivia conundrum:
What's the diff between a problem and a challenge?
I think the answer to that might be ‘attitude’. You are awesome Arfie!! Don’t change!! For some reason, even In therapy I find myself having a hard time when the conversation is about me. I usually am so nervous and I look away and my hands shake but I can talk here.