Went to Church Today

Today I went back to the church that I used to go to, the cult. I had a good time there, but I don't feel like re-joining lol. Don't worry, I'm not going to let them brainwash me again. I had a hard enough time with them when I was part of the church. I talked to one of my old friends and roommates and told her I was an atheist and she was surprised. I told her one of the verses that made me re-think god, which is Deut. 22:28-29, where the Bible says that you have to marry your rapist if you get raped. I just think that's barbaric and horrible. I can't believe in a god that would say such a thing in his book, and I had already dismissed the other gods and religions, so I was left with no god to believe in. Not like I need a god.... I'm good without one. I do things for my community and such, give back, and I do that from my heart, not because I'm trying to win brownie points with a god. My friend that I showed that verse to was shocked and said she was going to have to research it to get more context. It's just setting up the laws for rape in that chapter, and none of them are good for the woman. I guess it just sucked to be a woman at that time.
The church service was just like I remembered... everything the same. I even saw a lot of old friendly faces, and a couple not so friendly ones. I did spend some time talking to my old roommate Karina, who was one of the ones who excluded me from her clique in the house. I'm just glad I only shared a house with her, and not a room. I would have gone crazy sharing a room with her. She's married now with a little girl, and I got to see her baby. I don't know if she's changed, but I hope she has. Cliques are childish things, and I hope that she's more mature now and all that. She's leading the teen ministry with her husband, and I hope that goes well for her. Her husband preached the sermon, which is good, since the regular preacher was out of town and I don't like him. He seems like a child molester to me. I don't know... he just gives off a creepy vibe to me.
After church I went with my old roommate Marianne to In-N-Out and got some food, and then we went to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf for tea. We talked about our lives, what's been going on with us, and all the different things we wanted from life. I think it was a very good conversation, and I had a good time with her. She was one of the people in the church that I could count on to be nice to me and all that. When I was having a bad day she was there for me. She was the household “mother”- whenever someone was having a bad day she was there for them, cooked for us sometimes, and just generally cared about everyone.
I also went over to my sister's house today.. it was nice. I had my birthday dinner... tostadas and zucchini. It was really good. They also got me a cake and sang. It was the most depressing sounding “Happy Birthday” ever, but it was still good. It's just that my sister forced everyone to sing when they felt awkward. It was still nice, though, to have them sing for me. I wasn't expecting it. The cake was very good, and even though it sent me soaring over my calories, I had a good time. We just watched some TV and joked around a lot. It was a lot of fun. I was laughing a lot. Almost like I had been drinking lol. I didn't drink, though... I don't have to drive or anything, but it's not good to drink with my pills so I try not to. Besides, I think they only had beer and I'm not a huge fan of beer. Well, that and I didn't want to drink any more calories than I had already eaten.
Food today as you can guess was bad... I had a ton of fat and calories between the tostadas and the hamburger and fries. And I got my fries with cheese, grilled onions and thousand island dressing. It was totally worth it, though.. I only get one birthday a year, so I can celebrate it however I want. I might go to Red Lobster when I get home with Geo.. I'm not sure what I want to do on my actual birthday. I don't think we will have the car, though, so I will have to play it by ear. I'm not sure if I'm going to want Thai food since I'm having that for my birthday dinner with my stepdad. I don't know. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Mood today was good... I wasn't stressed out at church, although I did get a bit of an anxiety attack while there for some reason... maybe bad memories catching up with me? I'm not sure. Sleep last night was good... I tried to nap today but I couldn't. Oh well.