Well update
Whoa boy...doing the opposite apparantly of what I should.
So I asked her out and we were going to do movie than dinner. Instead she changed to lunch and movie.
She brought lunch. I brought movie. We laughed and she smiled a lot. She also dressed for me (I..well thought she looked good in yoga pants and she wore her sexist). We had a really good time. She cuddle in the movie under a blanket. Held hands. Let me kiss her. In the movie, I joked that I'm glad I was going to die first because I could see her passing and she said no.
Saturday night I didn't hear for hours and only one text...than couldn't sleep. Than broke down on Sunday. Call..crying..told her I have to hide...it hurt to bad. I even told her tell her son happy birthday for me in Nov 30th. She said no. And told her bye and hung up.
She wrote asking for time. She said give her till December. I cried all day and thought about it. I told I would try. She said thank you and we would have a great future together.
I still get confusing signals. I still have to step back...I'm hoping she's just protective and hurt. She thinks it was easy to packup and leave. And was hurt that I didn't come back in 3 days. I was hurt because she didn't like being engaged and she said she was unhappy. I know she wants to find a job and wants to do it by herself.
Still hard...somewhere I became co-depend. Even now still shaking a little bit but I'll give space.
So I'll still be around here. Writing helps.
Replies
Well I have been reading your story for awhile now and if nothing else., it IS interesting. As I'm sure you can attest too, as well. Sad to see you hurting like this.
From a woman's point of view, and just being honest here - She changed it from dinner to lunch because she had another date for that evening. That's why you didn't hear from her that night.
Why till December? What was her reason for that? Is it because of the other guy that's in the picture?
It's fine to see her while she is making up HER mind IF she wants to be with you or not. But, I would suggest somehow developing a tougher skin about it, and accepting that this is how it's going to be with her.... for at least the near future. Best thing is for you not to come across as desperate in any way. I don't know how you are going to accomplish this.... but she would be more into you if you were being more aloof, and acting too busy to "care" (at least give her that impression), and no more breaking down and crying in front of her.
While you're giving her space (and I really hope you can do it for awhile, although I know how terribly hard that is)….You said you don't really have friends to go out with, but can you join some meetup groups? Take a cooking class at the community college on weekends? Try to go on a few more dates with other people? Something to get you out, busy, and not thinking about her 24/7.
Hope my advice helps.
Well, we didn't get done till 630. I don't picture she had another date..she said grocery store, dogs etc. I did hear hours later like at 11. So maybe. but I don't want to thing that way. When she did text it was thank you for an amazing second date (I joked it was our second).
I agree tougher skin. The zoloft I think is messing with me and will settle.
Haha I took a cooking class with her so that is out.
December. She wants to find job. Do it on her own. She doesn't want to feel like an obligation. She said December but hopefully sooner.
Guess we'll see...thanks for the view. Even if it made me teary eyed.