Well its true
Finally discovered she was cheating on me. The low life piece of garbage.
Threw me away and her family. Did everything she could to divert blame on me and make me the bad guy the whole time she was messing around.
I am so angry and hurt. I have never been this upset in my life.
I hate her more than anything right now. My oldest son knows what is going on and cant stand the face that she did this.
I hope she dies a miserable death.
Threw me away and her family. Did everything she could to divert blame on me and make me the bad guy the whole time she was messing around.
I am so angry and hurt. I have never been this upset in my life.
I hate her more than anything right now. My oldest son knows what is going on and cant stand the face that she did this.
I hope she dies a miserable death.
Replies
I know EXACTLY how you feel!
My wife did the exact same thing. Cheated on me for apparently a period of 2-3 years (near as I can piece it together), and I believe there were several different guys. Treated me like shit during that time, blamed me later during marriage counseling, the whole nine yards. There are a few images of her smiling, callous face that are BURNED into my brain, that I will never forget. I get angry just picturing those scenes.
Anyway.
I found out 6 months ago. It\'s not going to be an easy time going forward. But I will say that it slowly gets better. You slowly wrap your head around it. You slowly separate yourself from the other. Self esteem makes a slow recovery. The operative word here is \"slow\" - but it happens. I still feel a lot of anger, bitterness, resentment - but it doesn\'t dominate my thinking like it did a few months ago.
The point being, there is a path out of this hell. Many have taken it, and you will too.
A practical matter: emotions are really strong and raw right now. I assume you are on a path to divorce. Be VERY CAREFUL about what you \"say\" to her in print: email, text, etc. These things can be used against you when it comes to custody of children, etc. If you need to \"have it out\" with her, try to do it verbally in person or over the phone. And do it once, and be done with it. I made a small mistake in that my final statement of any significance to her consisted of one text the day I found out. I told her in 3 sentences what I thought of her as a person and a mother. And that is the last thing I ever said to her that had to do with anything other than our kid, selling our house (now sold), or getting divorced (now done). Fortunately my text did not come back to haunt me in any way. Just be careful.
I too have wished for many-wheeled vehicles with careless drivers to make the collective purity of humanity ever-so-slightly better with one well-placed accident. Take it out with exercise, or music, or any other reasonably healthy way to get it out. I have a heavy bag that I like to throw around when the anger gets to be too much.
There are lots of resources and kind/knowledgeable people on here. Post and journal. It will help. I don\'t know if you\'re seen this one yet. I did a lot of reading here:
http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/
Best wishes.
Now that you know the truth , you know that it was all her doing. She was lying and she put the blame on you . They do this because they just can\'t put the blame on themselves. They will say things like you were an ok wife , or your were not attentive to me as a husband should be, they will just say anything to take the blame off themselves. They don\'t want to be responsible for their actions. They have convinced themselves that it was somehow their husbands/ wife fault for all they did wrong. Now , serial killers can blame their up bringing all they want , but I know a lot of people who had rough childhoods that are wonderful people and are definitly not serial killers. My point is there are no excuses for behavior. It is a choice . She chose to lie to you, she chose to have an affair. You know now none of this is your fault. Marriages are up and down, people work through them if they really Love each other, but some Love themselves more then anyone else around them. I learned that with my husband who is leaving his choice is that he himself is a priority over anything else, vows, kids, loyalty .... It\'s all about themselves . They feel like they deserve to have instant gratification . They don\'t care what you did for them . They are looking out for number one , themselves. You are very angry , of course ! And I know it hurts , but try to reel those feelings in, and take control of your situation. Yes be angry , but don\'t let her hurt you anymore, or your kids. The one you married is not there anymore, she is not the woman you thought you married. At least that is how I think of my husband.. He is not the man I married, be strong as you can. No contact is the best if possible , and if not the least contact and words are the best for you . Don\'t try to discover more about the guy . It doesn\'t matter who or what kind of guy he is , it all comes down to her choice. A very bad choice she has made. Hang in there.
Thank you