Well.... I knew the other shoe was gonna drop

Tues night …he  was went out drinking till 1230… no big deal Thurs I worked that night  till 11 p.m.  …..  and he drank in the garage with some friends.. not a biggie…  and Friday night me and russ went to the horse races and to valleyfair.. Which was fun….Ok… 4th of July....after we left the parade … I can always tell.. by the mood Russ gets in…. whats gonna happen or whats in store..I can just see a separate side of russ come out… we went home, and he started moaning that he didn’t want to stay home.. he wanted to go somewhere drinking right…. Well we had the kids… So he went fishing with Jaden for a couple hours… well I knew he was there drinking with her.. so I called him and told him to get home… So he came home all pissy… in that mood, where I knew something was gonna happen… Soooo… he sat in the garage and drank.. the girls played outside.. and I was in and out of the house doing stuff cause I knew….. He was gonna try to take off.. …  Sooo then .. he wanted to leave and take jaden over to a house party round 8 pm and I was like Russ… no.. u aren’t taking her anywhere its 8 pm she is tired and u have been drinking..(he was wasted) ……  So he was bitching and moaning that it was the 4th of July and poor me.. he has to stay home… everyone else gets to party.. and he has to sit in the garage by himself… So I was like.. do u want to take the kids to the fireworks.. he was like nope u can… so I was like ok forget it..    Sooo finally around 845, I went out to the garage and sat and had a beer… we did fireworks… round 945…. Around 1015.. I was like come on lets go in and put the girls to bed…   He was like go ahead I am gonna sit out here and relax and have another beer.. which I KNEW he would leave as soon as I went into the house..   I didn’t want him drinking and driving on the 4th of July… Soo I took his keys and phone away.. and we put the girls to bed.. and I was like Russ stay in the house.. he was like no…. pushed me out of his way to get outside.. to where yes I do have bruises again…  Sooooo……….. I went outside and sat on the patio…  cause he went into his garage and locked the door.. so I couldn’t get in…  I wasn’t gonna go in the house till he went in .......cause I knew he had another key to his truck somewhere.. and he was already drunk So like evry 5 min or so.. he would open the door to see if I was still there.... and Emotionally abuse me……calling me names.. telling me I needed help.. the same old shit   and then he would go back in to the garage and lock it… trying to get me to go into the hosue..  So I just sat on the patio and had a beer.. and texted a couple people….  THIS went on for one hour in a half… it was like 1145 then…   I was sitting by the house… he came out of the garage and he saw me… pretended he was peeing… and got into his truck started it and left….   Sooo …. I just put my head down and went into the house… and watched tv… till 330 am… I waited… Finally fell asleep… around 4 am (BY the way I HAD his keys…. Which had the house key on it.. .so I knew he would have to wake me somehow to get in) Woke up at 730 am… No Russ…   930 am…. No Russ..  soooo I checked his phone… And one of his friends was on the voicemail  “something about… heard ur truck in the slough?(sp)  ditch, call me” SOOOOOOO  Then I started freaking the fuck out………… I Texted like 3 of his friends.. no one would text or call me back Sooo finally gave in and texted his friend again to please give me a call…that I didn’t know where russ was … or if he was ok or even alive…His friend finally called me… and said……………..I didn’t talk to him… Missy That Someone had called him and told himThat last night after Russ left our house he went to a house party.... and then left there and then.. he decided to drive out to the Lake where so more people were partying... …  Went in the ditch /slough…. Whatever… buried his truck…in the ditch/swamp/mud walked to some house.. where he knew some of his friends were.. they tried to pull him out and couldn’t it was to buried… so they dropped him off at a resort… (so this was round 4 am or later) And that at 930 a,m, his truck was still in this slough….   and his friend said that’s all he knew… he didn’t know where russ was … didn’t talk to him,.,..  And asked me.... if  I wanted him to go and try to find him… And I was like no.. (cause ... remember Russ gets upset if he knows I talked to anyone)  So I am bawling…   I called his mom and told her that she needed to get her ass here… cause I wanted him out and gone…   Russ finally walked in the door round 130 p.m.… was a total fuck to me.. saying it was my fault.. he left… that if I wouldnt of took his cellphone and truck keys, it would of never happened... his mom and dad walked in the door.. I told him to packed and get out.. or I would call the cops..  He packed a bag… and left.. all mad at me still..    I wanted to scream at his parents…. His mom and dad didn’t say hardly a shitting word to him.. they just stood there.. I was like really U GUYS STEP up to the plate and yell at UR son… BE PARENTS… Let him KNOW that what he did isn’t right…. That he could of killed someone… or himself… And then his mom and dad left..  Soooo… I took his house key off of his key ring...  So after he left meand the girls went to the pool… and at 415… I was going home saw he was there… parked outside... waiting for me....  Waitin outside ....So I told him again to leave or I was calling the cops  which then upset the kids……..  So I took off  with the girls and went to DQ … and told him I wasn’t coming home till he was gone….. He kept texting me back and forth…    When I got home from DQ at 620 he was outside waiting.. cause he didn’t have any keys to get in…  And I was like u can take the girls to the pool I need time alone..  Went in the house and layed on my bed and cried..and cause…. I got like 3 hours of sleep the night before….. I  fell asleep … at 900 pm I woke up and he was sleeping on the couch… So I went back into the bedroom and was on the comp and watching tv till 200 am… and when I woke up he was gone for work..   So monday night he came in the bedroom and I got the whole..  I am quitting drinking speech last night.. the whole I cant handle it, and I don’t listen and do stupid things when I drink speech… To which I couldn’t even talk to him ....didnt say a word or even acknowledge that he was talking to me......Of course he told me all of this while the girls were still awake … so we couldn’t really get into it…    I came out of the bedroom to put the girls to bed at 815… and him and chaise were sleeping on the couch.. go figure… soo I wrote a letter Monday night… telling him I didn’t believe him, and why should I give him another chance… why should I trust that this time.. it will change…  And he had a note Tues morning.. that he doesn’t want to lose us.. that what he did was stupid and dumb .. and that he loves us and it’s the alcohol…..thats doing this to him…   And last night…. Was the same ole shit… I told him … I don’t think I wanna be with him anymore… and he got all mad at me..   and he came up to me and stated to me that it was my fault, because I took his keys and cell phone away from him and made him madIn which that statement just proved, that he is just blowing smoke.. yet again...   Everyone in his family is to scared to say anything to him , cause they don’t want him mad at them…   I just .. cant ...do all of this shit again… I really just don’t have the strength…. I don’t think he is getting it.. I don’t think the whole thing is getting in his brain…   I seriously do not know what to anymore…