Well

It's been 4 days since we have seen each other.  2 days since you contacted me...only because you needed advice.

The hardest part of the day is waking up.  Still have nightmares...well see you.  I know it's just my mind and heart processing, still sucks though.  Have to take a sip in the morning before work and a sip at the evening.  (I usually don't drink at all).

I gave you my best and it wasn't enough.  People view you as selfish and I see it too but...I'm dumb.  

Part of me wants to write you and for you to come back. We were supposed to go on a 3 week trip starting Sept.  Deep breath though. Deep breath.  Writing won't solve anything.  Time. Patience. Self care.

At least I get to drop those lbs I wanted to.  Later will be better.