well 3 and 1/2 months out of work now.

well. its been three and a half months now since i lost my job. i would like to say that ive been looking but i havnt. after the 4 apps i put in and all the rejection, im just realy scared now. trying to get cleaning co started so i can work just for myself. i realy hope it works out. i think after working for the drazy lady all those years ruined me for working with sain people. i dont know how to act in public, etc. went on 3 interveiws and i was so nervois, i sweated my way right out of any position. ive gained so much weight, i hurt all the time. it is so hard for me to leave the house anymoore. cable is going off today and im relay bumbed out but realy dont care anymoore about anything havnt washed my hair in a week, showered yesterday. its like i dont evern care about my apperiance anymoore at all... i realy hate being like this. i realy need some help bad. i also think im giving myself an ulser. my big fat stomack hurts all the time. i dont know how im going to loose this weight. im trying not to give up but it seems like i allready have...moore later