weirdness

feeling very out or sorts. as though my mental outlook

has changed. again I feel as though it's 'not ok' to take

a step in any direction..as though my needs are excessive

and I am frozen in the moment of equilibrium.

I saw my therapist yesterday and it was a kind of weird meeting..

while looking back at it, I am thinking to myself 'that maybe

i am not getting what I need anymore' - 

and I went to my parents' house to help them with yardwork

and I spent a good long while there at the house. Maybe too long.

I fatigued and started to fall apart mentally - but I hung on

and things went well.

I came home and went directly to bed - I was so tired..

and now I have woken up - I got coffee

and now I am home just kind of frozen in the moment.

My vision is so filled up by the moment that it is hard for

me to see 'the taking of the steps one at a time.'

I'll just keep on keeping on. Treepeople at 8am

and will love life..if humbly.

Sending peace and prayers,

Mark