weird thoughts but ...
I have been thinking about order and chaos today. Or maybe chaos is a strong word. Maybe structure and no structure.
I feel like people are forever taking things from disorder to order and then undoing it again and starting all over. So much of what I do, seems to be about that.
But also when I am alone, I try and mentally project what I would like to do with my day or my time and I get frozen in the face of 'the structure' at the moment. I try and thinkg oustide of it - and I just can't. It's as though I can't look beyond it.
But I think I am starting to think in terms of how things feel - and think in terms of others. That helps...ok I feel like
I am getting into muddy territory -
No big theories - no big conclusions. I am a wonky critter.
I think when I try and explain the unknown at times I just kind of unravel into the uneffectual. Better to keep
'at things' that keep me productive.. and hopefully that will keep me happy.
Replies
Just a good poem
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Today’s post: “Early Morning, My Birthday”
The snails on the pink sleds of their bodies are moving
among the morning glories.
The spider is asleep among the red thumbs
of the raspberries.
What shall I do, what shall I do?
The rain is slow
The little birds are alive in it.
Even the beetles.
The green leaves lap it up.
What shall I do, what shall I do?
The wasp sits on the porch in her paper castle.
The blue heron floats out of the clouds.
The fish leaps, all rainbow and mouth, from the dark water.
This morning the water lilies are no less lovely, I think,
than the lilies of Monet.
And I do not want anymore to be useful, to be docile, to lead
children out of the fields into the text
of civility, to teach them that they are (they are not) better
than the grass.
Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems, Vol. 1 (1992)