Weird kind of morning
I woke up with a huge sense of appetite and so I had my coffee. just the usual weekend thing routine. My mind started working away at me and I wondered when it would stop.
im watching the news in bed. Needling thoughts and so I read my recent posts, to get perspective and just decided to talk here in hopes it would help me feel a commiseration with you guys.
Things feel better. I just wish I didn't struggle so. I wish I could start my life. Each day seems about me adjusting to my psychic weirdness rather than keeping on my path in life. I wish I could help people rather than be so self absorbed.
perhaps I'll just tell myself there's room for both but it seems like the former takes most of the mental room. I'm so sad. And yet I won't let the sadness take over. Keep on keeping on
Replies
Hola Mark,
Here with you amigo you are not alone. I wish I could write something better but my dissociation & stuff has me a little off today. Btw I do not think you are self absorbed, & for what it’s worth you’ve helped me before with your support & kindness in my journals.
Tell Blue I said hi :)
Big hug <3
Thanks lil missy!!
Thanks again lil missy. Peace to you too. I took a shower and got dressed. Some days it's good to just 'do'
De nada piñata. I hope that you have moments of comfort today, I’m hoping for the same
It’s a full moon & solar eclipse too
whoops meant to write lunar eclipse (bilingual & dissociation literally has me saying words opposite sometimes lol)
haha no worries!
I don’t think you’re self absorbed. Plus, you’re supposed to be dealing with the self in a journal. And how maneuvering through the world of others manifests in your personal life.
That is normal. Don’t you think?
I know it’s easy to get lost in writing, as I have done that at times when I felt years of desperation due to depression and self-doubt and circumstances I found myself in and the asking of Why? I think you are recognizing something bigger that is underlying. And whatever you feel that is may be good to hone in on with your therapist?
I lost so much self esteem due to the intervention approach to how I got diagnosed, and every judging and evaluating me and feeling scrutinized. My worth was soooo damaged, and that became my theme in therapy for many years. Now that I’m progressing there are new things to sort through, and nothing is ever wasted time because we are constantly learning and acquiring tools.
Thanks Nikki!!!! I am reminded of the wisdom I heard this morning: Keep moving forward!!!
:)
Keep on keeping on
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/chef-jose-andres-on-serving-meals-in-ukraine-war-zone-world-central-kitchen/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab6i&linkId=165227870&fbclid=IwAR2F0_jFJ3x2sTBEw2FHufv3lTWZwzSwuCfrFLA5IFaWCzM47v-ZhqkIzfg
Sorry you are feeling so sad Mark. I wish there was something I could say that would help. I , like the others, don't think you are self-absorbed. This is the place where we go to sort out our feelings and it helps to do that.
Thanks Becky! ((Hug))