Weird Habits
Before I go to bed I try to make sure the last thing I say to anybody is, "I love you." Because I'm scared that I might die overnight. I want the last thing I say to anybody be something special and worth remembering because it might be the last time I see them. Also, when I was younger (and still now) every time someone used to leave the house I would tell them I loved them, hug them, and then run to the window and watch them leave in their car. Why? Because I was worried they wouldn't come back. That they would die. I first thought of this when I was like, 9. I am one weird person.. o.O
Replies
Has anyone ever died, that you knew?
I had a friend that committed suicide.
I can\'t tell you how glad I was, that the last thing I said was: \"I love you.\"
(But sometimes, I wonder if my mind is tricking me, and I didn\'t say that?
I would usually say it, but I thought, what if I didn\'t say it the last time, what if i only thought that I did? (it haunts me sometimes)
Also I think about how my own unconsciousness and how it might have affected my friend.
It makes me want to live more transparently. I hate our lying, fucking deceptive social norms, in our society.)
--BB--
ps someday we will never see them again.... (it\'s weird to think that this world will last forever, because it won\'t.)