Week 3 Breakdown, right on track aparently! :/
Been a crazy week since I’ve moved on to real foods last Tuesday…. With the soft foods I was not feeling full much… but was told this would probably change with solids/real foods because they are denser.
Well… not so much! Yes, I cannot eat as much, which is good… but I guess I keep waiting for that “I have no interest in food” I keep reading about and the “I could only eat a few bits and I was full” to kick in. Nada! I am as obsessed about food now as I was before. I can eat WAY MORE than a few bits and so far anything I’ve tried has gone down just fine!
Some will say this is wonderful. But right now I think it sucks! Don’t get me wrong… I don’t want to have to struggle just to get in my protein, but I was really expecting to find myself way less interested in food and to get full easy. I was expecting more from the surgery!
I am no fool… I get that I am having head work issues. And that I am NOT hungry! But then I was seldom hungry before surgery… I ate too often to be hungry! LOL! Sad, but true for most of us.
JJ tells me I am right on track for a 3 weeks fall apart…. And I hold fast to her words that this is normal. Maybe this time next week I’ll be just fine, or at least better than I am now. Cause to be honest, right now I feel like a big fat failure. I feel like what this surgery was supposed to give me didn’t happen. I NEVER expected it to fix the head stuff. But I guess I did expect it to give me a window of time where I didn’t much care if I ate or not. And this time would allow me to continue to work on the head stuff and grasp this new lifestyle….
In an attempt to allow myself to feel whatever it is I need to feel right now… I gotta spell it out. I am sad, disappointed, frustrated, angry, grumpy, and feel so very let down. I feel like I was supposed to get a BMW and all I got was an old beat up Yugo! LOL!
I want to talk to my surgeon… but then I think “what can she do?” NOTHING! The surgery is done… It’s not like she can go back in and give me a re-do or something! She’s gonna tell me what Dr. Mccall told me… “Just do what you are supposed to do and it will all work out”…. Well, heck, if I could do what I was supposed to do without help, I’d have never been fat in the first place! I was expecting flippin HELP with this from the surgery!
Holy moly I feel like a whiner!! I feel like I should just shut up and move on…. But then that’s what I’ve done all my life, and I can see how that worked for me! So I need to vent, I need to let this out and feel it… And maybe, just maybe… next week will be better! Maybe my pouch, as some have said, has not woken up yet and things will change… maybe I’ll just find some peace…. Who knows! But today, I am just feeling down right shitty and I am going to just let that be.
I will be ok. I am just made that way…. But not yet. Today I am just going to feel miserable for a bit because that’s ok to do once in awhile
Well… not so much! Yes, I cannot eat as much, which is good… but I guess I keep waiting for that “I have no interest in food” I keep reading about and the “I could only eat a few bits and I was full” to kick in. Nada! I am as obsessed about food now as I was before. I can eat WAY MORE than a few bits and so far anything I’ve tried has gone down just fine!
Some will say this is wonderful. But right now I think it sucks! Don’t get me wrong… I don’t want to have to struggle just to get in my protein, but I was really expecting to find myself way less interested in food and to get full easy. I was expecting more from the surgery!
I am no fool… I get that I am having head work issues. And that I am NOT hungry! But then I was seldom hungry before surgery… I ate too often to be hungry! LOL! Sad, but true for most of us.
JJ tells me I am right on track for a 3 weeks fall apart…. And I hold fast to her words that this is normal. Maybe this time next week I’ll be just fine, or at least better than I am now. Cause to be honest, right now I feel like a big fat failure. I feel like what this surgery was supposed to give me didn’t happen. I NEVER expected it to fix the head stuff. But I guess I did expect it to give me a window of time where I didn’t much care if I ate or not. And this time would allow me to continue to work on the head stuff and grasp this new lifestyle….
In an attempt to allow myself to feel whatever it is I need to feel right now… I gotta spell it out. I am sad, disappointed, frustrated, angry, grumpy, and feel so very let down. I feel like I was supposed to get a BMW and all I got was an old beat up Yugo! LOL!
I want to talk to my surgeon… but then I think “what can she do?” NOTHING! The surgery is done… It’s not like she can go back in and give me a re-do or something! She’s gonna tell me what Dr. Mccall told me… “Just do what you are supposed to do and it will all work out”…. Well, heck, if I could do what I was supposed to do without help, I’d have never been fat in the first place! I was expecting flippin HELP with this from the surgery!
Holy moly I feel like a whiner!! I feel like I should just shut up and move on…. But then that’s what I’ve done all my life, and I can see how that worked for me! So I need to vent, I need to let this out and feel it… And maybe, just maybe… next week will be better! Maybe my pouch, as some have said, has not woken up yet and things will change… maybe I’ll just find some peace…. Who knows! But today, I am just feeling down right shitty and I am going to just let that be.
I will be ok. I am just made that way…. But not yet. Today I am just going to feel miserable for a bit because that’s ok to do once in awhile
Replies
you\'re no whiner Becca... and I believe JJ is right on track.. that you are right on track.. food has been an obsession for me maybe us our whole lives... and the surgery doesn\'t change it.. what it has done for me is to force me to think about what I put in my mouth.. to make the healthier choices.. and it has been working.. slowly as I had the sleeve.. but I am going down.. I too find myself hungry and frustrated sometimes.. and I\'m two months out.. but I will eat when I feel like this only it\'s a healthier choice.. S/F whatever.. What works for one of us does not necessarily work for all of us.. we all will find our own paths.. and so long as I\'m eating healthier and exercising more and the numbers (no matter how slow) are going down.. I am successful.. this is my life change.. no one else\'s.. you are wonderful and doing great.. cut yourself some slack.. relax and be patient.. (soooo easily said or typed lol)
Hang in there sister. I experienced those same feelings, so don\'t think you\'re alone because you are not. Keep doing what works for you. Don\'t get discouraged okay. IT GETS BETTER. Continue to write snd talk about how you feel. Gastric is not a cure all. The issues underlying our food addiction still must be dealt with. I suggest joining a support group with live participants or a therapist to discuss the issues you\'re having. Love u Shelia