Weaving Wild Magics
A recurring theme within my decades old therapy journal is the reality checks on just how obsessive I have been on particular points of my life. Points I thought I had been treating lightly often show up with far more brutal regularity than I had supposed. Conversely, points I thought I had beaten blunt often show up as well guarded secrets. I had thought of them far more than I had spoken of them. "Weaving Wild Magics" is one of the latter. There is no secretive intent attached. Perhaps more of a lack of vernacular? Lack of desire to stir the cracked pots of multi-cultural legend and wishful thinking which so often bubble up with the words "Wild" and "Magic?" Dunno. . . Let the exploration begin. This morning's exploration begins with a cryptic entry from this very journal.
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/complex-weaves
The real world trigger for that contemplation is the same as this morning's: the developmental paralysis of my sons and their S.O.'s and the still escalating dysfunction within the Urban Homestead. This morning finds Hubby down there driven to do another round of the family business as usual while the middle aged retirees grumble about the disruption of their beauty sleep on bed sheets which probably havenae been washed since the last time I washed them ? ? ? years ago. The disruption of their beauty sleep drags god knows what onto the sheets from unswept floors. Please don't ask me to let my granddaughter lay her head on a floor dirtier than the diaper in need of changing.
How many wild magics are astir in that cauldron of dysfunction? Can those wild magics be tugged from the cesspool of dysfunction and brought forth into a more functional weave? Or am I just lost in metaphor again? For sure, I still want those sons and their S.O.'s in my life. There is much love and respect between all the threads involved. Can I count love and respect as two of the most magical of all the cosmic threads?
Sorting. . .
Replies
I guess the "we" of here (us) are always trying to build or re-build the ideal of what we think it is. When one thing is done we extend the vision to try again for a more complete goal...maybe in this life we will get the ideal. But I am not about to put money on that, too many variables. Wild magic of moments of enlightenment, happiness, stalemates. or drastic changes, and anything in between is not always in our hands. We feel the magic as witness not instigator too often.
I am tired this morning and still reeling from meeting my niece by chance last night. She in tears from being excluded in many of the plans of her daughter's graduation, as if her title of mother is a treated as a disgrace. The hands that she has taken help with for raising the children after the cancer death of her youngest? after the divorce of the non dad? have thrown her to the toxic heap or at least out of the camera shot. Hugged her as I could.
Then this morning after a week of inquiring and a long day/night of rain...my daughter finally confirms some info on my Grand daughter's ceremony....One tired comment from me and she was up in arms. She said I sounded cold? She who has been so cold in the past as to sue me. Well I can only did what I will do. For today it will be to see the grand daughter graduate with a seat or two of buffer.
I hope the wild magic stirs to the sun today.
Hugs. J
sorry for the rant, but I feel.
off to get ready.
Certainty unavailable, but I am increasingly convinced letting go of my notions of *ideal* are a critical piece of what I am calling, "weaving wild magics." A wild magic needs to be exactly what ^it^ is, regardless of my prejudged ideals, whether ^it^ is emanating from a bird's nest in a tree or the parents of my grandchildren.
The brain fart which filled my sinuses while I read about your niece is that the wild magic there was the thread which had you tiring out meeting with the thread which caused her to explode. Just a brain fart. . . Ply gas mask, if needed. I've got mine on.
For sure I'm glad you vented about the encounter. Prayers ongoing. . .
I really hope it works out the way you want and hope. Love and respect for sure.
Sending peace and steadying support while you sort. Namaste arfie.
Thanks Mark.
I was a good day after a confusing start.
I re-read your previous post before responding this morning. I noted that after the clean up of the tin roof you were satisfied with part the bee building rehab. Butta... at some point(s) after you did go back and rehab the rehab to get a more complete ideal. Painting dressing and defining as well as adding a whole new bird extension to the operation. That's the extending of the ideal.
That's what I was meaning to say before enough coffee was injected.
End of day and a beautiful sunset coming on.
J.
Amazing the diff a coffee injection and a good day can make.
Beautiful sunset coming here, too. A gentle rain last night has made for bright, fresh air today.