we will be alright sort of .........you --- me ---alright! praying daily for this to be true!

it's so good to have all the comforts of home.  to rest, to find solitude, to feel safe. 

to have a day without migraine pain, the area in my lower intestines is sore, but no longer keeping me bent over.  that is a blessing also.

i ate breakfast mid morning.......i'm trying to talk myself into eating again.  i slept in my little nest all wrapped up in a blue blanket.....and microbead pillows.......with a throw over my shoulders.  felt like a baby all cozied up.  becuase i've been so blue of late i've noticed that i've been hugging one of my pillows......and that led me to think i should get a stuffed animule to hugggggg on. 

so now i'm surfing the web for a huggable bit of comfort......and boy was i surprised at some of the options out there.  there are one hundred dollar options ......both doggies and kitties that meow, bark, purr and move.  they were created to provide easy care pets for the aged and for those suffering difficult health challenges.  interesting.  didn't feel there were for me as i already have two kitty kitties .......amazed at how life like they are. 

there are a lot of body pillow sized cuddly options, but i don't want anything that big.  it literally takes up the whole bed.......with all my pillows i'd probably have to give the bed over to the body pillow and sleep on the couch, so that is not my answer!  lol.....

i saw a cute cuddly stuffed pup on a site called plow & hearth.......it was in the $70 range and i thought wow, they cost that much????  eventually i went to ebay......which led me to a cuddly chicken.  yup, you heard me........a 23" cuddly chicken designed by folks in Japan.  it's weirdly cute, takes a month to arrive.  it's something about the face that i liked.......and that since I've felt like a big chicken of late, maybe we, this funny cuddly chicken and I could belong together.  this chicken could come to sparrow cottage and let me hug it whenever i have a rough time of it, day or night.  migraine makes me feel especially vulnerable......and the effects in the days that follow leave me weepy and sadding.  maybe the chicken is it?   i still don't know, there is something about big floppy puppy dog ears that are also very appealing.

when sara was little i gave her a long eared soft furry brown pup with a red patent leather collar and she promptly named him "Lampshade"........that child could always make me laugh out loud!  she, my sara, that is has had me doing homework in care of my health and well being about those IgG treatments.  so far my regular doc says yes, my brother asked me some questions about it all......my big brother just retired from NIH, and his wife has one more year before she retires.  anyway he had hodgekins lymphoma a few years ago......that led to immunodeficiency from the chemo and he started this exact same kind of therapy unbeknownst to me about a year ago.  his next treatment is Mon, November 1st.  they are actually on vacation right now, but i answered their questions and hopefully they can shed some more light for me about all this before i start my own course of treatment.

a big thing that i can't remember sharing......first they said i'd have to pay $1900 for each treatment.....an amount way beyond my ability to manage, so after completing an application with them they came back to me yesterday and said all the treatments have been approved with zero out of pocket cost to me.  i was floored and once again found myself in tears........pretty astonishing. to have that financial worry VANISH.  gone.......makes me feel that folks have been praying out there!

my daughter wanted me to get more info in advance of beginning this therapy after hearing how upside down i've been of late.  so far so good, my regular doc is all for it, believes it will help me very much.  we'll see what else my big smart brother has to say........

my hands and feet are so cold, maybe top ramen and hot tea will warm me up?  the other odd thing?  the edema won't go away and now my upper legs feel heavy, cumbersome, thick, weird........the doc thinks i should see a vein/vascular doc.  just not sure when i can fit that in.........please Lord, help me sort this out, help me make good choices and help me make it back to the rheumy on monday.....let her be focused and clear going forward,  i am not a fan of methotrexate at all, two weeks of migraine will do that to a girl........

praying for all of you......praying for bits of better.  love, hugs ......hey, do you know why ducks have feathers?

......to cover the Qwacks in their a--!  sorry, a little naughty and sooooo stupid!

reallllllly bad, i hear ya..........i might well be the worst joke teller ever......i cancelled the trip to south georgia.  yesterday i was sad, but today i'm less sad, so that is good.  God is trying to help me through, i feel him here with me........

sunday i'm sposed to go to sara's........we'll see.  every day is a day for baby steps.