Watching Others Go On

Dear Josh, It has been a while sine I have wrote to you.  Sometimes I just can't bring myself to write.  Your daddy and I miss you so much.  Yesterday was one of those days.  We had another road clean up for you.  We had about 30 show up.  But, the thing that hurt the most was none of your friends came except Jordan.  I know what you are thinking.  He was your best friend and his the important one.  Josh, Jordan is leaving on Monday for boot camp.  He has joined the National Guard.  He will be going out west then to Maryland.  He is going on with his life like he should.  Wesley is leaving for UNC on the 21st.  He is going on with his life like he should.  JR has already left for the army boot camp.  Another one going on with his life.  Josh, it hurts like hell that you could not be going on with your life.  But, I will continue to have the road clean ups even if it comes to just me and your daddy picking up trash.  Life is not fair.  You were a good kid.  A loved kid.   A loved kid.........I hope you knew how much you were loved.  You questioned Pa Gene loving you well I want you to know something.  Pa Gene went out to the cross on Friday with the heat being 95 cut weeds and clean up all around it by himself.  Josh he loved you as well.  Your daddy stepped into your room last night and just looked.  It is taking her watch and having it fixed.  All it needs is a pin.  Then I sat on the couch last night and saw him just gazing at your picture.  Both of our hearts are breaking and it will soon be 3 years.  You are my only child.  You will forever hold that special place in my heart.  Love you deeply, Mama