was going to call my therapist but decided instead here

Yesterday, at the beginning of it, I was trying to make sense

of why the previous day effected me so. To make a long story

short - I realized that 'we don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love.'

It rang true then and now. I also talked to my therapist about it in our session.

I went to work this morning and kept going along and I found myself feeling really low

energy and sloppy. I wasn't sloppy but I thought again about the '....don't have to be perfect

to be worthy of love'...and then I also thought 'I still have to be responsible and

aspire for some excellence' in what I do (at least I want to). So, I thought about that and the work day ended

and I came home to Blue. He was waiting at the top of the stairs in my entry - and I got up 

to the landing and covered him with affection. He's great!

I ate lunch, took a shower and dressed and went out to Starbucks for my venti pike with nonfat

milk (almost always the same - their sweeter drinks make me balloon into a Macy's Parade contender.) lol

I came back home to him and just thought about things with relativity - I think I can barely deal with myself

and I can deal with Blue. I don't know if a significant other would be in the cards - perhaps not now - perhaps

never...But I do know I am feeling old - and I want to lose weight and exercise and get some of that energy

and pride I took in looking in the mirror and caring about my clothes.

I am rightfullly tired since I woke at 330am today and now it's 1030am...

I think things are alright. :)

Sending good vibes out there - 

peace,

mark