Warm feeling in my heart
THIS ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS AT WORK ABOUT 3:30 IN THE MORNING. I WAS IN A AREA WHERE WE HAVE A TABLE AND SOME CHAIRS WAS PUTTING AWAY SOME DISHES WHEN THIS VERY STRONG WARM FEELING CAME INTO MY HEART. THEN I HEARD A VOICE LIKE KHRISTY'S SAYING MOM, THEN SHE SAID IT AGAIN ONLY I HEARD IT LOUDER MOM. THIS TOOK ME COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE. SO I GUESS SHE HAD TO SAY MOM AGAIN TO GET MY ATTENTION. I SAID KHRISTY? AND SHE SAID YES IT IS, BUT THIS TIME I HAD TO SIT IN ONE OF THE CHAIRS THAT WAS THERE, LOOKING OVER AT A EMPTY CHAIR NEAR BY WE HAD THE GREATEST CONVERSATION. SO HAPPY AT THIS MOMENT THE PERSON I WAS WORKING WITH WAS IN ANOTHER ROOM IN THE BUILDING. ALL THE WHILE I WAS TALKING TO HER THE WARM FEELING REMAINED IN MY HEART. SHE TOLD ME ABOUT HOW SORRY SHE WAS ABOUT ALL THINGS SHE HAD PUT ME THROUGH AND I TOLD HER I WAS SORRY OF ALL THE THINGS I HAD SAID TO HER, WE MADE OUR PEACE WITH ONE ANOTHER, THEN SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD SOMEONE THAT WANTED TO TALK TO ME AND IT WAS MY DAD. HE TOLD ME HE WAS SORRY THAT HE DIDN'T SPEAK TO ME FOR A YEAR WHEN I GOT MARRIED TO MY SECOND HUSBAND, BUT HE JUST DIDN'T THINK HE WAS RIGHT FOR ME, I TOLD HIM WELL HE WAS RIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE DIVORCED HIM AND NOW LIVING IN IRELAND, HE SAID HE KNEW BECAUSE KHRISTY HAD TOLD HIM, HE WANT ME TO TELL MOM, THAT HE IS IN NO PAIN NOW AND VERY SORRY HE LEFT HER WITHOUT PROPERLY PROVIDING HER WITH ENOUGH MONEY SO SHE COULD LIVE OUT HER LIFE IN COMFORT. ALSO TO TELL HER HE LOVES HER, THEN KHRISTY CAME BACK AND TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY ANYMORE THAT IT IS GOING TO BE PROVIDED SO I CAN LIVE OUT THE REST OF MY YEARS IN COMFORT, BECAUSE I HAD WORKED HARD ALL OF MY LIFE. SHE DID TELL ME THAT SHE WAS ALWAYS WITH ME BUT AT TIMES I AM TOO WORRIED ABOUT THINGS TO NOTICE SHE IS AROUND. SHE WOULD COME BACK AND TALK TO ME AND SHOW HERSELF TO ME. BUT DIDN'T SAY WHEN. ALOT MORE WAS TALKED ABOUT THEN THE WARM FEELING STARTED GRADUALLY LEAVING MY HEART, WE SAID OUR GOOD BYES AND THAT WE LOVED ONE ANOTHER. I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE OF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS SORT OF THING OR SOMETHING LIKE IT. IT SEEMED SO REAL LIKE I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH ANYONE ONLY I DIDN'T SEE THE BODIES. IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD BUT IT WAS THEIR VOICES I HEARD NOT MY VOICE ALL THE TIME. NO I AM NOT GOING CRAZY AND NO I DIDN'T WISH THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AND THEREFORE MADE IT HAPPEN IN MY MIND. AT THE TIME REALLY TALKING TO KHRISTY WAS THE FURTHEREST THING FROM MY MIND. THIS WAS REALLY A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE. I DON'T KNOW IF I WROTE IN MY JOURNAL ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE I HAD ABOUT 2 WEEKS BEFORE KHRISTY DIED, BUT THE SAME WARM FEELING CAME INTO MY HEART AND IT WAS KHRSTY'S VOICE SAYING MOM AGAIN. THIS TIME I WAS UP IN BED LAYING DOWN. SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS DYING FROM A DRUG OVERDOSE AND I SAID NO KHRISTY DON'T PLEASE DON'T DIED, SHE SAID SHE LOVE ME AND I TOLD HER I LOVED HER TOO AND KEPT SAYING PLEASE DON'T DIED, THEN THIS VOICE AS I PERCIEVED AS JESUS'S SAID EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT I WILL HELP YOU TRHOUGH THIS. THEN THE WARM FEELING LEFT AGAIN. I WAS NOT GOING TO MENTION THIS TO ANYONE FOR FEAR THEY WOULD THINK I WAS LOSING MY MIND. DID MENTION IT TO PETER AND THAT IS THE ONLY PERSON I TOLD. SO THIS HAS HAPPENED TWICE, I BELIEVE IT TO BE REAL AND NOT ALL IN MY MIND. THERE HAS ONLY BEEN THOSE TWO TIMES. AFTER THE LAST TIME ALL MY WORRY AND CONCERNS ABOUT KHRISTY ARE NO MORE AND I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO GRIEVE ANYMORE, I MISS HER OF COURSE BUT THE DEPRESSION OF ALL THIS GRIEF IS GONE AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT WHEN I THINK OF HER IS HAPPY THOUGHTS AND NOT SAD THOUGHTS ABOUT THE WAY SHE DIED AND ALL THE OTHER NEGATIVE STUFF GOING AROUND IN MY MIND.... JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE THIS WITH ALL OF YOU. WASN'T GOING TO SHARE BUT THOUGHT WHAT THE HECK..HOPING EVERYONE PEACE AND STRENGTH THIS WEEKEND.
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