wanting to make my life more than about me

this morning I reflected about what I need to feel grounded....what i need to do

to steady myself. It came to me in the resulting relative calmness that

I really want to make my life about something than just myself.

I can take care of myself to an extent - and have learned how to do this...

and thoughts of going back to the monastery to live a life of community

and in spiritual family - sounds to me like something I would like to do - 

to keep that place running day to day - and all that means. But I know also

I have this illness - even now I find myself grappling with it - so maybe

I can plan for the future but also know that part of it will be taking care of

the mental stuff - and everyone has to do that to a certain extent along the way.

We all have our ups and downs.

I think I'll make another trip to the monastery for a couple of weeks next year.

That makes sense. Just to try it out once again - and see if a longer stay informs

me if my destiny lies there.

Sending peace,

Mark