waking up to a quandry but ultimately a good thing
When I have been in the presence of a certain family member there has been
such a sense of eclipsing everything about me. That being said - I was obsessing
about it this morning.
I was feeling the injustice of it ...and woefully spinning and spinning about how I could
find a mental platform on which to feel better about myself and my life.
Ultimately compassion saved the day for me... I realized it may be an issue
the person has but certainly we each have idiosyncracies and issues we all struggle
with in life. Realizing it's not an "EITHER/OR" but a "WE"... really helped me calm
down and retake my life.
I had been thinking about emailing my therapist. She's on vacation this week
and so I thought 'gosh she deserves a break from all this kind of stuff.' So I didn't
email her... In the after glow of finding this "We", I also found that there can
be kind of a selfish urgency we feel with what we experience - and that may push
us forward to reach out to our mental health providers to somehow calm us down
to some how soothe our senses of injustice or panick. Sounds like I've been kind of
stupid but again...in finding the "We", I am definitely finding some peace with myself,
my relationships....and now for the day ahead! peace!!
Replies
In my journey, I have had family member issues that really hurt me. I have found that if I quit wanting people to act/respond to me a certain way....letting go of those expectations that I can't control...it helps. And like you said, it really has to do with the other person's issues, and I try to understand that when processing, too. Hope you have a great day! Peace!
We can't control other people, but we can control how we react to them.
It is highly likely that how this family member treats you has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. I've found that it helps to practice compassion (in my case, with my sister), rather than focus on injustices. It seems you've come to that realization too. : )
Hope you have a great Friday and wonderful weekend! Hugs.
thanks G and LB!!
I agree with Ladybug and Grateful, in assessing our feelings towards how others respond and react, it's not us who needs to change, it's their decision and choice and behavior that needs to change.
You are doing a terrific job in taking care of those feelings and sorting them into a balanced method.
thanks Mid!