Waking up from the Manic Coma

This morning I feel like I am waking up from a coma. Groggy. Exhausted. Feeling like much time has passed, but where did it go? What happened while I was "sleeping". My partner is in tears. She feels helpless and hopeless. She doesn't know if it's safe to go to work and leave me here alone with our 2 year old daughter. Afterall, I was still in my coma earlier this morning when it was time to take my 13 year old son to school. Thankfully, she took him for me and made arrangements for afterschool, just in case today was as bad as the past few days. But today is better. I just needed some time to wake up. The fog has cleared and now I feel awake and alert. I still feel a little "off" but not insane. Earlier this morning I could not read. I could make out the words, but they seemed to swim around the page- disconnected- unrelated- not making any sense. But now I can read again (and write!). And I can speak. For some reason, yesterday, I could not get my mouth to form the words that my brain so desperately wanted to get out. To tell my family that I just needed to rest. That I would be ok if I could just get some sleep. So I slept all day, unable to tell anyone what was going on inside of me, all the while, none of them knew what to do. Should they call the hospital? Should they just let me sleep? How long would it last this time? You see, I had a major crash. I had been manic for days, weeks, who knows? I have no concept of time on a good day, today I feel dizzy when I try to think about time, so I will just live today moment by moment, not looking at the clock. Today is not a day for schedules and deadlines. Today is a day for rest. My body feels like it has just run a marathon while having the flu. Everything aches. The thoughts in my head are threatening to start racing again, but I am focusing on staying calm...relaxed... the goal for today is peace. I am ok today, not great, but ok. And ok is better than I have been all weekend, so I am grateful.