waiting for xanex tokick in fri dec 3, 2010

well, had to take my xanex couldnt type anymoore too schackey. waiting for them to kick in so i can write better. got the gatoraid, have to rehydaite. so dehydrated from being so sick. cant seem to get enough to drink. havnt taking the antibiotic yet today because i was out and they make me sick. so will take tonight and get back on regular tommorow. boy he gave me a strong dose. makes me sick. never had to take so much before. i guess its because i sounded so bad when i called. i dont like the meds. it makes me sick and i will probly get yeast infection. thats what happened last time. first one ever. oh my god it  was terrible. my sis told me toeat yogert. i HATE yogert. sounds like its ganna come right back up. im a very picky eater. evedenta;;y frozen yogert doesnt count. pitty. need to get a shower bad. im just so cold and sick, cant get warm, and im allways hot. what ever is going around where i live is BAD the whole family seems to have it. and its a hanger oner. was jamming my music, i have to sing. if i would just shut up for a day, i might get voice back. clled counseler today, going to see her soon. need to realy bad. droped group for the winter. scared to drive in winter.i will miss it. but i figure if i get on here i can get my journal and do things on here. going to shrink next monday. hopefully ill be better by then. im so sick of being sick. i get sick alot. its the hot flash cold flash curcil of this damm menapause. had good day, got car fixed yay. it was only a miner thing thank god. of course b.f. paid for it. at least hopefully ill get a xmass present that doesnt envolve my car. sounds very petty, but im flat broke, not realy but its bad and its only the 3rd, ok, not going to think about it any moore tonight. i can worry tommorow. thik ill listen to some beetles now. calm me down. was watching walle. i just love that little guy. i havetaken to sleeping w/ the stuffed teddy bear that my granny used to sleep with. makes me feel good . she is in a better place now and she can walk and run and see and she is happy. this is the first xmas w/ out 3 people in family we had much loss this yr. its os sad. i dont realy know where i fit ina anymoore. family dinamics all changed. i fear change. ok, pills kicking in. have t go eat so i can take my antibiotics. will try to get on later. not a bad day. at least i got out and my window is fexed. its a good thing.........