Volunteering Tomorrow
Tomorrow I'm supposed to start my regular volunteering schedule. I'm a bit nervous, since I'm not used to being counted on, but I know this is going to be good for me so I just have to deal with it. I told them I would be there at noon, so I'm going to try and be up by 10:30. It should be manageable, I've been waking up around 11am so far since I've been home the last couple of days. I hope I sleep tonight. I'm tired.. last night I was so tired I fell asleep within 10 minutes of lying down. I just knocked right out, and I'm glad. I hope I can do the same thing tonight. I need to get some good sleep so I can go out there and get to the clinic on time. I'm going to have my coffee tomorrow, I've been saving it for a day when I need it. I don't really need to save it, I have a ton of coffee and creamer, but still. I don't like to drink caffeine if I don't need it. I do love the taste of coffee, but the decaf I have is stale :( I need to get more at the store, but I feel bad buying more if I have some at home already that's still drinkable.
For those of you who were wondering, sorry I didn't update on Hurricane Irene sooner. Irene passed us already, and the winds were so weak here in Miami that our power didn't even go out at all. We had some rain and a bit of thunder, but barely anything we could hear over a movie we were playing. I forgot that a couple people had asked me in comments about it.
Last night I got about 12 hours of sleep. I fell asleep fine, it's just that I woke up at 7am and was up for about an hour in the middle of the morning. If I do that tomorrow, I'm just going to stay up, which is why it's important for me to get good sleep tonight. It's not quite time for me to take my pills yet, so I still have time to work on the journal. Last night I went to bed at 10. I took my pills late for once since I thought I had taken them already, and then went to look and found out that I hadn't and took them right away. I was only a half hour late, but I try and keep a strict routine at night so I can fall asleep easier. I use the computer for a while to do my journal, I talk on the phone until I feel tired, and then I fall asleep. I don't know if I'm going to try and talk on the phone tonight... I'm tired now but I will see how I'm doing at 9:30 when I take my pills.
I'm a bit nervous. I was thinking about going back to my mom's for Christmas as her present, but I'm not sure. My mom's mil, Joy, said that my mom's husband (Tracy) and his dad (Al) got into a big fight a couple Christmases ago. I already told you that I had problems with Tracy and Joy fighting a little spat when I was up there, I don't know what I would do if there was a big fight when I was there. I can't stand fighting. All I know is that both men love to drink and argue, and there is no right when they fight. Also, when I was up there on Tuesday Tracy told me he loved me and that freaked me out. I can barely tell my stepdad I love him without it bringing all these negative images, and my stepdad is a good guy. Tracy and my mom have had their share of problems in the past, and some of them were violent. I don't want to have to tell him I love him and then have all these bad memories come up or something. I don't know what I'm going to do when he says it again. I tried typing if he says it again, but he probably will, so I put when. Plus, I don't know if I love him or not, if I can with the past he has had with my mom. He's a good guy now for the most part, but he does have his moments of asshole-ness, like fighting with his mom over nothing the other day because he was drunk. He's one of those guys who are good when they are sober, not so much when they are not. I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.
Food was good today.. I did eat some junk, but I'm in my calorie range for the day. I had some ice cream and about half a soda. I just did my final calorie count and I'm actually kinda low. I could have drank the whole soda if I had wanted to, but I didn't really want a whole one. I just shared one with Geo. Stress was okay... we watched a horror movie which stresses me out, but I did okay. Geo spoiled what I call the jump scares so I didn't have to be freaked out by those. I seemed to deal with it well. The true test of stress is going to be tonight and tomorrow when I have to go volunteer. Mood has been good all day, Geo and I did have fun watching the movie even though it was scary. I talked about sleep above, so that's it for today!
For those of you who were wondering, sorry I didn't update on Hurricane Irene sooner. Irene passed us already, and the winds were so weak here in Miami that our power didn't even go out at all. We had some rain and a bit of thunder, but barely anything we could hear over a movie we were playing. I forgot that a couple people had asked me in comments about it.
Last night I got about 12 hours of sleep. I fell asleep fine, it's just that I woke up at 7am and was up for about an hour in the middle of the morning. If I do that tomorrow, I'm just going to stay up, which is why it's important for me to get good sleep tonight. It's not quite time for me to take my pills yet, so I still have time to work on the journal. Last night I went to bed at 10. I took my pills late for once since I thought I had taken them already, and then went to look and found out that I hadn't and took them right away. I was only a half hour late, but I try and keep a strict routine at night so I can fall asleep easier. I use the computer for a while to do my journal, I talk on the phone until I feel tired, and then I fall asleep. I don't know if I'm going to try and talk on the phone tonight... I'm tired now but I will see how I'm doing at 9:30 when I take my pills.
I'm a bit nervous. I was thinking about going back to my mom's for Christmas as her present, but I'm not sure. My mom's mil, Joy, said that my mom's husband (Tracy) and his dad (Al) got into a big fight a couple Christmases ago. I already told you that I had problems with Tracy and Joy fighting a little spat when I was up there, I don't know what I would do if there was a big fight when I was there. I can't stand fighting. All I know is that both men love to drink and argue, and there is no right when they fight. Also, when I was up there on Tuesday Tracy told me he loved me and that freaked me out. I can barely tell my stepdad I love him without it bringing all these negative images, and my stepdad is a good guy. Tracy and my mom have had their share of problems in the past, and some of them were violent. I don't want to have to tell him I love him and then have all these bad memories come up or something. I don't know what I'm going to do when he says it again. I tried typing if he says it again, but he probably will, so I put when. Plus, I don't know if I love him or not, if I can with the past he has had with my mom. He's a good guy now for the most part, but he does have his moments of asshole-ness, like fighting with his mom over nothing the other day because he was drunk. He's one of those guys who are good when they are sober, not so much when they are not. I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.
Food was good today.. I did eat some junk, but I'm in my calorie range for the day. I had some ice cream and about half a soda. I just did my final calorie count and I'm actually kinda low. I could have drank the whole soda if I had wanted to, but I didn't really want a whole one. I just shared one with Geo. Stress was okay... we watched a horror movie which stresses me out, but I did okay. Geo spoiled what I call the jump scares so I didn't have to be freaked out by those. I seemed to deal with it well. The true test of stress is going to be tonight and tomorrow when I have to go volunteer. Mood has been good all day, Geo and I did have fun watching the movie even though it was scary. I talked about sleep above, so that's it for today!
Replies
Put another good day into the books, tomarrow you voulnteer again and that will go well for you I know. you are doing so well, this is great. I am happy for you.
you will do ok at volunteering, the waiting to go causes a lot of anxiety. im confused oabout something. what does \"my moms mil\" mean? who is mil? is tracy your biological father? im just confused. you made me laugh when you said 7 am is the middle of the morning, im at work already lol. so happy your days are going good and sleep good too. hugsss