Volunteering
Today is cold as hell over here. I'm so glad I have someplace warm to go to for the day.
I started volunteering here at the Good Neighbours Club. Yesterday I started on the dirtiest spots, The washrooms. They have always been a mess. Shit all over, and paper strewn around. Really pretty disgusting, but the place doesn't hire anyone to clean it.
I have always been a good cleaner. Fits right in with my wanting people to like me, so I usually find myself doing the jobs that others don't want to do. I like when people appreciate what I'm doing.
This place is a little different though. a lot of people here are miserable. They don't have money, or they drink or do drugs, or they are down and out. a few are alright, but not many. I've had a few times where I've ended up in arguments or fights.
It's a little frustrating I find because most don't care. I'll spend an hour scrubbing a whole washroom, and five minutes later, they have it all messed up again. I've been good, and haven't been getting mad. I know some have problems, and I'm just trying to help.
The staff seem to appreciate it more. They give me my meals for free, which is much better because now I don't have to feel guilty about not paying because I don't have any money. So I give, and they give. They also get these great take out packages of salads that are fantastic. It's high end stuff that would be pretty expensive to buy, and they are great. I had one today that was spinach with toasted almonds, strawberries, cream cheese. It was so good. It's great. They give me a few so I can take them to the shelter to eat instead of the other food. It's good.
This morning I started thinking about why I feel angry about so many things in the past, or even things that just happen throughout the day. I started to realize that these are just habits that I have fallen into over the years. The drinking, and drugs have just kept it all growing. So I'm going to try and work on getting rid of these habits. After all, it does seem crazy to be constantly thinking about things that happened years ago, and in some instances the people involved have even passed on.
So, still no word about jobs. That's alright. I know they will come soon. in the meantime I'm keeping sober, going to meetings, looking for work, volunteering, coming here on D.S. Fuck man, I am keeping pretty busy. I do like this though. It is so much more sane, and some people actually like me. That's a really good thing. Thank you, Lord.
I started volunteering here at the Good Neighbours Club. Yesterday I started on the dirtiest spots, The washrooms. They have always been a mess. Shit all over, and paper strewn around. Really pretty disgusting, but the place doesn't hire anyone to clean it.
I have always been a good cleaner. Fits right in with my wanting people to like me, so I usually find myself doing the jobs that others don't want to do. I like when people appreciate what I'm doing.
This place is a little different though. a lot of people here are miserable. They don't have money, or they drink or do drugs, or they are down and out. a few are alright, but not many. I've had a few times where I've ended up in arguments or fights.
It's a little frustrating I find because most don't care. I'll spend an hour scrubbing a whole washroom, and five minutes later, they have it all messed up again. I've been good, and haven't been getting mad. I know some have problems, and I'm just trying to help.
The staff seem to appreciate it more. They give me my meals for free, which is much better because now I don't have to feel guilty about not paying because I don't have any money. So I give, and they give. They also get these great take out packages of salads that are fantastic. It's high end stuff that would be pretty expensive to buy, and they are great. I had one today that was spinach with toasted almonds, strawberries, cream cheese. It was so good. It's great. They give me a few so I can take them to the shelter to eat instead of the other food. It's good.
This morning I started thinking about why I feel angry about so many things in the past, or even things that just happen throughout the day. I started to realize that these are just habits that I have fallen into over the years. The drinking, and drugs have just kept it all growing. So I'm going to try and work on getting rid of these habits. After all, it does seem crazy to be constantly thinking about things that happened years ago, and in some instances the people involved have even passed on.
So, still no word about jobs. That's alright. I know they will come soon. in the meantime I'm keeping sober, going to meetings, looking for work, volunteering, coming here on D.S. Fuck man, I am keeping pretty busy. I do like this though. It is so much more sane, and some people actually like me. That's a really good thing. Thank you, Lord.
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