very upset
i'm having a good day physically, bad day emotionally.
got my period yesterday, i feel like i'm going to die from fucking blood loss with how heavy this period is. went to CVS last night to buy a big thing of tampons, and a king sized bar of chocolate. om nom nom chocolate makes everything better. i had to have looked pretty funny just buying tampons&chocolate.
the pain with when I'm bleeding (yesterday and today) so far seems to be decent enough. specifically today my ovaries hurt. i'm incredibly tired today, as was I yesterday. but today seems to so far be pretty pain free, which is a total plus. pain+exhaustion is never a good thing and just makes everything 10 times worse.
I'm just physically and emotionally worn out. physically from my period at the moment, and the shitty shit endo that i deal with almost all the time. i'm emotionally drained from what a big part of my life my endometriosis is. i'm working my ass off to get what i want with doctors, and it's a pretty ridiculous process.
i feel like its almost depressing me honestly. my husband is so amazing, and so incredibly supportive. i don't know what i would do without him. but a few days back we were intimate, everything was going great, until the pain started setting in. i just hate that. obviously i couldn't continue, total mood killer, and i'm not about to "fake it". i just cried and cried because of what a let down i feel like. now i have my period and i feel even more fucking disgusting. i guess I'm a bit hesitant over sex now because i don't want to disappoint, and i certainly don't want to be in pain!
calling this doctor, calling that doctor, is really old. seriously. now it just comes down to me waiting for my appointment with the RE. and hopefully getting a prescription or a referral to a pain specialist for some pain killers. all i can do is call the RE frequently to see if they have any cancelations. if i don't die before then. blah :(
im tired. i have school later tonight. thats the last thing i want to do. I'M SO SICK OF FEELING AND BEING LIKE THIS. WHY? WHY? WHY?!!!!?!?!!?
got my period yesterday, i feel like i'm going to die from fucking blood loss with how heavy this period is. went to CVS last night to buy a big thing of tampons, and a king sized bar of chocolate. om nom nom chocolate makes everything better. i had to have looked pretty funny just buying tampons&chocolate.
the pain with when I'm bleeding (yesterday and today) so far seems to be decent enough. specifically today my ovaries hurt. i'm incredibly tired today, as was I yesterday. but today seems to so far be pretty pain free, which is a total plus. pain+exhaustion is never a good thing and just makes everything 10 times worse.
I'm just physically and emotionally worn out. physically from my period at the moment, and the shitty shit endo that i deal with almost all the time. i'm emotionally drained from what a big part of my life my endometriosis is. i'm working my ass off to get what i want with doctors, and it's a pretty ridiculous process.
i feel like its almost depressing me honestly. my husband is so amazing, and so incredibly supportive. i don't know what i would do without him. but a few days back we were intimate, everything was going great, until the pain started setting in. i just hate that. obviously i couldn't continue, total mood killer, and i'm not about to "fake it". i just cried and cried because of what a let down i feel like. now i have my period and i feel even more fucking disgusting. i guess I'm a bit hesitant over sex now because i don't want to disappoint, and i certainly don't want to be in pain!
calling this doctor, calling that doctor, is really old. seriously. now it just comes down to me waiting for my appointment with the RE. and hopefully getting a prescription or a referral to a pain specialist for some pain killers. all i can do is call the RE frequently to see if they have any cancelations. if i don't die before then. blah :(
im tired. i have school later tonight. thats the last thing i want to do. I'M SO SICK OF FEELING AND BEING LIKE THIS. WHY? WHY? WHY?!!!!?!?!!?
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