Very hard to maintain a positive attitude

I find myself trying real hard to keep my mind busy and think of positve things, but at times I slip back to thinking of Khrsity's death her life and I feel my heart is breaking all over again.Which I don't think it ever healed in the first place. Her birthday is coming up on September 9th....I find myself when her birthday gets near or her Angel date I begin to get anxious, and think more about her, sometimes I even revert back to getting mad at myself and her and just the whole situation.....I don't know why I do these things, when I think well maybe the worse part of grieving is over then comes the emotions all over again like it happen yesterday. I can't sleep, I get anxious over nothing, I walk in circles not knowing what I want to do, then really I don't want any to do anything at all, just go back to bed, wake up and pretend this has been one horrible long dream......At this time I believe I am making one step forward and two steps back. I want to take this time and thank everyone for their support since I have been on this site. Believe me this is the best, because I have been on other sites and they did nothing for me but cause me more grief. Thanks for being my friends.......

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

That pretty much sums up the grief process. One step forward and two back. We all struggle around important dates like birthdays, Christmas, etc. I pray for you and me that one day we will remember all the wonderful things and that the pain will just be a slight bruise on our hearts. Try to just go with it, I find when you struggle against your feelings they last longer. Love and hugs Cathy
deleted_user
deleted_user

I guess we all have that in common. Grief is a roller coast that has so many downhill rides. We just have to hold on to each other tight and help each other when we can. Love and hugs, Cyn
deleted_user
deleted_user

I do the same thing when b-days and anniversaries come around. i think that is why fall is so hard cause sept is when my son died and Nov is his b-day and of course all the holidays don\'t help. Like you say one step... Hugs, Inga