Venting About Love

Love is great and it is so powerful and fulfilling until it isn't. I've had a pretty hard past, and gave up on love...then I made a connection with someone. I was afraid, but I gave it a chance. Everything was great, met his family, he met mine, we were planning on getting married one day after we graduated, we really were in love....but of course, since love is complete and utter bullshit, he decides he didn't want to be committed to me anymore. He loved me, nothing was wrong with our relationship...he just wasn't ready for marriage and so his quick fix was to not be in a relationship at all for a while. He regretted his decision and said I'm the only one he could see himself with...I wanted him back, but he didn't want a relationship at all. But now, 4 years later, instead of coming back to me ("the only one he can see himself marrying"), he's in a fucking relationship with another girl that he loves.......and get this shit, he still wants me in his life as his fucking friend....wtf! I decided to be friends still, even though honestly, I'm still not over him....he has never been one to cheat, ever, so he wants to see this relationship through and be faithful and shit......but he slipped up and asked to see pictures of me.....3 different times (the 3rd, I initiated)...and he sent me pictures too.........and he wont tell his girlfriend about me....even before the pics, he never told her how serious we were.....and he even said if she was talking to her ex and stuff, the way we do, he'd be pissed........so why are you doing it to her? And why are you doing this shit to me? He knows how much I love him, so why the fuck is he doing this to me? If you love me, be with me. If you love her, be with her. Love is bullshit. It's fucking crap!