venting

i went 2 my counselor 2day.  he sd that my depression is at its core about grief and 4giveness?   i dont totally remember.  i feel like im digging a grave.  im drinking.  right now absolut & oj.  less than a finger per glass.  im a lightweight where alcohol is concerned.  i have 2 understand this is nt about my husband.  ive bn focusing on him b/c it brought my dilemna 2 the front?  MY COUNSELOR sd i dont feel safe.  i havent all my life.  ........