used to be

Funny as it may sound I've read all the Fifty Shades books and love them!  As I'm on the first book for the second time I reminisce on times I spent with Isaac.  There was a time when he lived with a friend Luis.  I spent a weekend with him there maybe in 2002.  The duplex on Coal and Yale is now a Smith's gas station. Duplex building demolished with a new building taking its place. That weekend was amazing.  We barely left the house.  It was constant sexing.  I'll never forget how he made me feel.  I would get butterflies in my stomach.  My heart would stop while I was staring in his eyes.  I miss this man sooo much.  As I type this I cry wishing he was still mine.  Wishing he was well emotionally and mentally.  That is gone now.  Schizophrenia has taken him over and all the good times are this.  A memory. I'll always love you Isaac despite the bad times and struggle you have within yourself.  I just know I can't have you again.  Not only because I don't know how to deal with your condition but because I should be happy in my relationship now.  It's hard to stop thinking about you.  We were in each others lives for ten plus years.  I just hope you are OK.