Urges - -still!!
It's interesting - you wouldn't think I would still have urges to go to the casino - or illusions that I can control myself... I was talking to my brother and he used to have a problem with alcohol but would never really discuss it... he really opened up and is dealing well with his addiction at this time. I was speaking candidly about how I feel the urges still and wish I could gamble without severe repercussions (sp?) - however of course I know I can't. Anyway, he was talking about how when he wants to drink and has those powerful urges he switches his mind to something else; reiterating to himself that it is bad for him, etc. He has a new girlfriend and I believe she has had a very positive influence on him.... when he was here, he was drinking iced tea and diet coke, which I was really shocked at... I'm very happy for him and I know it is difficult... we really compared notes on the urges and I believe our conversations will bring us closer. Each of us three siblings have some sort of addictions but never really discussed them.. the brothers live on the east coast and I'm on the west. Okay - so I'm rambling on. After our conversation, I was okay with not acting on the urges.. he was so sweet and said I could call him any time... I may take him up on it. It's amazing how different we are, though - he can walk through a casino without ever placing a bet!!!! We were cursed with different addictions. :] Bad word - cursed.. it's just who we are and a process of our personal evolution in this life time. Whew - now I'm getting philosophical. Time to sign off,Hugs to all,Smokeygirl
Replies
It is funny, isn\'t it, how we have certain predilictions (sp?_ for a particular thing....I\'m a gambler, not a drinker, etc. It is really normal to wish we could gamble casually....even after a year, I have some urges still....but when I confront myself on this....well....I know I can\'t gamble without harming myself. When I imagine going back again...I can\'t imagine not wanting to return over and over...I can see in my mind how crappy I would feel losing my money....and heaven help me if I actually won....I would get in real deep again real fast. I know in my heart that I can\'t gamble anymore. It is like suicide for me to ever go out there again.
Glad you had such a meaningful conversation with your brother. This kind of thing really could bring you two even closer.
Hugs back at you....Dianne
Thanks - - -have a wonderful week, sistah! Talk to you soon,
Smokeygirl
I am still getting the urges but they are diminishing quite a bit the longer I stay away. I think it is great that you talked to your brother on this hope you both turn to eachother when the urges get overwhelming.
Nice to hear you connected with your brother...that must feel great. I have six siblings, almost all of us with an addiction of some sort, but we would never discuss it. What a great loss for us. Glad to hear you are well, in spite of urges :)
love and hugs
brigette
Well I am a recovering alcohol and a compulsive gambling I will be sober three years on the 13th from drinkig and drugging.....but I can not seem to kick the gambling habit...it really scks I was able to get the urges to use to go away and now I have a different monkey on my back......I am so glad to hear how you struggle but stay GF...I am hoping I will be able to be that way in the future I just need to try harder........it is wonderful u and your brother talked me and mine had a similar conversation and it was wonderful.......well good luck....GOD Bless.....
Love and hugs
Kathy