urges
Everything was going fine today, I was working and I love my job, and I was cutting cakes which is my favorite thing to do. I've always had a thing for working with desserts, I feel like it's the last part of the meal, so it's one of the more memorable things that everyone has.
Anyways, I knicked my arm with the knife, not deep enough to really draw blood, just a short, thin scratch with the color of blood. It got my mind off track, I needed more, I needed to find someone to finish up the cakes while I went to the bathroom and bruised my ribs. I felt my emotions draining as I kept working, and I knew I needed something, but then on my last cut I caught the base of my finger on the backend of the blade, it only cut the glove, but I was gone after that. My hands were shaking, and I couldn't place the slices of cake on the plate easily because my mind was drifting through nothing-ness. I didn't end up going to the bathroom or doing anything to hurt myself, but it felt almost like a mini-panic attack..
Anyways, I knicked my arm with the knife, not deep enough to really draw blood, just a short, thin scratch with the color of blood. It got my mind off track, I needed more, I needed to find someone to finish up the cakes while I went to the bathroom and bruised my ribs. I felt my emotions draining as I kept working, and I knew I needed something, but then on my last cut I caught the base of my finger on the backend of the blade, it only cut the glove, but I was gone after that. My hands were shaking, and I couldn't place the slices of cake on the plate easily because my mind was drifting through nothing-ness. I didn't end up going to the bathroom or doing anything to hurt myself, but it felt almost like a mini-panic attack..
Replies
Feel proud of yourself that you didn\'t cut or bruise that day. That takes a lot of strength. Even if you did the day after or the day after that... feel proud of the strength you had to not go to the bathroom and self harm.
Thank you for replying to my post, it means a lot to have people out there care. The way you describe feeling in your other post (like people aren\'t interested in hearing about your problems) is how I feel about talking to people about this stuff too. But hey the nice thing about a post is that if people don\'t want to read it, they don\'t have to.
So keep your chin up, and keep sharing. I think you are doing an amazing job. If you ever need someone to talk to I\'m around.