upsies and downsies. a work in progress.

washing stuff.

got to.  rats.

somebody who shall remain nameless, but not the cats didn't make it out of bed in time.

washing a lot of stuff.  b ummm e d

wish there was a way to vacate this body until it calms down, reacts/acts in a much more predictable manner.

called another rheumatology practice to get info,it was like pulling teeth,  then i get off the phone and realize i didn't ask usual wait times to see the doc and their cancellation practice.  of course they also need my records and a call from the doc before they will schedule me for an appt. 

the first practice has great doc reviews, poor supporting staff reviews......wait time to see the new doc?  end of feb/mid march, they'll let me know sometime......someday.  dum de du m dum dum

the second practice can get me in at the end of november, but the staff member i spoke to rattled stuff off, didn't offer to spell anything........she says we have three rheumatologists.  dr. dode is at location a.  dr. lovel is at loc a & b.  dr. sackdiva is at location a & b.  if you want to see the nurse practioner PA Charlesie she is only at practice b

this was said at lighting southern accent speak.......i asked her to slow down, to spell names......to help me get it written down.  she was inept and not good at helping people with brain fog.

i finally said that i am really struggling to understand her, that i need her to be patient, spell out all names, to say the name, then spell it out.......then follow that with who is where on what days oh my golly miss molly.

she finally spelled out Dr. DOLD, then Dr. LOVELL, then Dr. SACH DEVA, then she said who was where on what days......

so doc dold is at location a. M-W, Dr Lovell is at location b., but not on Wednesdays, Dr. Sach Deva is at location b. 1/2 Thursday (but never said am or pm) followed by the info that he practices on Friday at location B all day.  she never did spell out the P.A. name (sounds like Charlesie? Charlcee?  who knows......) but the p.a. is at location B only.   ugh. ugh ugh

if you have brain fog/severe fatigue this is not easy to understand .......especially based on the way she delivered it.  it was pulling teeth.........

if i want to see them i have to call my primary care doc and leave a message request for them to send a second fax of my records to this practice, then get the doctor to call in a referral.....then call my rheumatologist back and request that all records be sent via fax to this doctor's practice as well.  all i want to do is cry or nap or both.

if i wait til i feel good enough to do these things how long will it be until i can get help........i hate this stuff. 

should i put all my eggs in the basket of the rheumatologist my friend recommended who is a lot further away from here?  and the wait time is until march of 2019 (if i'm l ucky)........

or should i put some of my eggs in the basket of the second lady doc who is much closer and can see me much sooner?

somebody grab a nerf gun and just shoost me. 

my tummy is a wreck.  maybe i should move to belize?  forget doctor care, swim in the warm ocean and die young.  monday will be a new day, a new week...........park it all right here and dream of something happy.

like?  letting a huge bunch of red balloons loose over the lake........breaking 20 glass plates with a big ol hammer......maybe not happy, but glass crunching satisfying.......  how about a party?  we'll put on our prettiest tu tus and twirl in our toe shoes on the clo uds......uh uh, no twirling today.  rescind that plan.........we'll wiggle our fingers to disco at 5 pm EST this Sunday all at the same time????  we'll moon ......nope, not me, not ever.  i'm just not the mooning or the streaking type EVER EVER EVER!  no in a word, never!  we'll throw chinet plates off the rooftop of the pizza place downtown Auburn.  just because......

we'll eat fried chicken at the park.......potato salad, biscuits.......sweet tea .......brownies or cupcakes for dessert.  we'll go visit an elementary school and interview kindergarten kids.  like we'll ask them for better laws or better bed times or would they be in favor of free lollipops for all patients......what do they want to be when they grow up?  feel like they would cheer us up, make us la ugh.....

the doorbell will ring and a troop of awesome helpers will quietly enter........and instinctively know what we need help with.....and just do it.  after th ey've u shered us into bed.....handed us the remote and something to drink.  ahhhhhhhh, the goodness of that is sooooooooo gooooooooooooood.  i bet my mail box is overflowing at this point.  gotta back down the drive and get the mail soon......with those awesome helpers would come soon.  in their pretty blue t shirts that say AWESOME HELPERS, WE'RE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!

it's good to dream.......Lord help me find my inner giggle.  remind me to cool my jets, to stop criticizing and start a mission to spread k. indness.  my last act of random kindness was last saturday.  i bid on a dessert at the fund raiser, brought it home, called my neighbors to come and get it..........to ENJOY IT and they said they would!

i need to listen to that usher song about happiness..........or is it somebody else?  bruno mars maybe?  there's a line that says happiness is the truth........it alway s makes me feel better.  drain my brain of sludge and send me a happy meal.  the end.