Ups and downs

I am so blessed being able to enjoy day to day life with my hubby, who has been doing well since recovering from hip surgery.  Some days I completely forget about the cancer, and other days that's all I can think of.   The other night he said he was feeling pain again in his lower back, near his hip where the original metastasis was found.  He's wondering if they will do more radiation for pain control.  Not a bad idea, but then I start thinking about how they will need to so a scan to determine where to radiate, and I just DON'T want to know if the tumor has grown!  But of course it has, because he's not on any treatment to slow the growth of the tumor.   I just need to remember to live each day, to love each day and appreciate each day.  I'll try to do that!   

Replies

meriel
meriel

Karen - I totally understand the not wanting to know. When D has his first brain scan, I felt so angry about it, as l knew they wouldn\'t do anything if they found something grim, and I felt that I couldn\'t bear the knowledge if it was. I don\'t think that it\'s being an ostrich; I think it\'s survival in many ways. But, at the same time, you know that within you, you\'ve got the strength to cope with it, and get through it. I\'m so glad that you and your hubby are able to have so many lovely days together - and wish you much luck in your loving of each day. It\'s a slog, sometimes, but doesn\'t it become easier? This new normal just isn\'t so bad sometimes, and has its own blessings. I wish you many.

Meriel
deleted_user
deleted_user

Good morning Karen,

your words say so much, your gratitude is showing so much, you give to so many others, and givin so much to me.. I feel terribly not ever asking about how your dear husband was recouperating from his surgery, i am so sorry for not remembering to do that.. You have so much going on in your life and how i do understand the feelings of not wanting to know and really the only thing at times that keeps me going is i don\'t know whats happening inside Tim\'s body at this moment.. Which pushes me to, that need to know.. Us women are the only people that do know and can understand it so we can help our husbands get thru this and we are all here for each other when we feel we can barely get thru the hard days.. Karen, i would love to get to know you better, i\'ve realized when i was more into DS it was when you had just joined and i grateually pulled back, as i do at times, but i know now, this is where i want and need to be, right along with my sisters to give it all to our rcc group, and our newbies, to keep the love, hope and courage alive.. As Meriel said the new normal just isn\'t so bad somethimes, and many blessing it does have for us everyday..

Love,
Becca
kkzimm
kkzimm

Thanks dear friends, for your words of encouragement. Knowing I\'m not alone and that my thoughts, fears, anxieties are often felt by others in the same boat really makes a difference. I appreciate it! - Karen
msgrace
msgrace

Dear Karen,
I\'m very sorry to hear that your husband is having more pain. Let\'s join together in praying that it\'s a residual from the surgery. You are a very special lady, and I am so blessed to have you in my life. Thanks for all the wonderful support you give to all of us. We are here for you, darlin.

God bless you!

Ingrid