Update on yesterday
Dear DS diary,
I am feeling out of sorts tonight, so this journal entry is all I am going to be doing tonight. MeggieLizzie, mystie, and immarcie, I promise you will be getting hugs, journal comments, or whatever else is on the docket tomorrow night.
This story stems as an extension from yesterday when I felt overwhelmed and confused. The essence of this is about trying to find a balance between my extended work hours, my plan of attack with my life coach, and wanting to at least get into a more regular workout pattern until the spring when I can start seriously training for that 5K I want to run.
There tends to be a problem with situations like this: My body's natural reaction is to panic. And this time, it resulted in the worst panic attack I have had in some time.
I knew I didn't feel right most of yesterday, but around 5pm, everything just exploded. My legs suddenly began to shake under me as if I'd just had 6 or 7 buckets of ice water dumped on me. I thought I was simply chilly, so I retreated to my room and put my body under the covers for a little more than an hour. The shaking stopped, eventually, but the panic attack was not over.
Because apparently, I also had a stress headache and an upset stomach going. This led to disaster at dinnertime, which was sad because my mother was trying out a new dish -- as she sometimes does on Saturday -- that I was intrigued by. But I was having a lot of trouble eating it, and I barely finished a quarter of my dish before I had to shove it aside and make a mad dash for the bathroom. Extracurricular activity ensued, and only then did the panic attack stop.
This basically did a number on me. The attack itself was bad enough, but then when I tried to sleep it off a couple of hours later, I had a lot of trouble getting into a deep sleep because the panic attack was so severe. Getting through today was a battle...but at least this time I was able to eat.
My therapist wants to work on coping mechanisms with me. Great idea...except my new insurance doesn't cover him. I'm looking at $150 a session with him, so seeing him every week is no longer viable. I told him I would try to work out what would work for me and get back to him before the weekend was out, he was okay with this.
But I have serious concerns about moving forward if my body is going to start reacting like this to major changes in my life.
I am feeling out of sorts tonight, so this journal entry is all I am going to be doing tonight. MeggieLizzie, mystie, and immarcie, I promise you will be getting hugs, journal comments, or whatever else is on the docket tomorrow night.
This story stems as an extension from yesterday when I felt overwhelmed and confused. The essence of this is about trying to find a balance between my extended work hours, my plan of attack with my life coach, and wanting to at least get into a more regular workout pattern until the spring when I can start seriously training for that 5K I want to run.
There tends to be a problem with situations like this: My body's natural reaction is to panic. And this time, it resulted in the worst panic attack I have had in some time.
I knew I didn't feel right most of yesterday, but around 5pm, everything just exploded. My legs suddenly began to shake under me as if I'd just had 6 or 7 buckets of ice water dumped on me. I thought I was simply chilly, so I retreated to my room and put my body under the covers for a little more than an hour. The shaking stopped, eventually, but the panic attack was not over.
Because apparently, I also had a stress headache and an upset stomach going. This led to disaster at dinnertime, which was sad because my mother was trying out a new dish -- as she sometimes does on Saturday -- that I was intrigued by. But I was having a lot of trouble eating it, and I barely finished a quarter of my dish before I had to shove it aside and make a mad dash for the bathroom. Extracurricular activity ensued, and only then did the panic attack stop.
This basically did a number on me. The attack itself was bad enough, but then when I tried to sleep it off a couple of hours later, I had a lot of trouble getting into a deep sleep because the panic attack was so severe. Getting through today was a battle...but at least this time I was able to eat.
My therapist wants to work on coping mechanisms with me. Great idea...except my new insurance doesn't cover him. I'm looking at $150 a session with him, so seeing him every week is no longer viable. I told him I would try to work out what would work for me and get back to him before the weekend was out, he was okay with this.
But I have serious concerns about moving forward if my body is going to start reacting like this to major changes in my life.
Replies
Huge hugs to you my friend...PM\'ing you :)
See a new therapist. I\'ve mentioned in the past that you probably should see someone new since your therapist hasn\'t been helping you. I know you will have to start over with a new therapist, but I think it would be worth it. Find a therapist that takes your insurance. Look up therapists online and it will say what insurance plans they take on their Psychology Today page.