Update On My Neice

So KC and I went to the pregnancy support centre today.  Unbeknownst to me, it was a christain based centre.  At first I was like 'oh crap' but they didn't push it, and that was super super super nice.  I mean, it's not often you get a religious organization that doesn't try and convert you while they help.
They gave her pamphlets, they talked about adoption.  They are anti abortion, and were up front about it, but didn't out and out tell her that she would be terrible for doing it.  They took out the little silicone baby at ten weeks.  I'm sure all of you have seen those?  Little silicone fetus's at the different stages in pregnancy.  She is only five or six weeks, but that's the smallest one they have.  They gave it to her, and told her that right now her baby has a heart beat.  They talked about her thinking with the abortion, that the baby daddy will stay if the baby doesn't, and tried to help her see how completley looney tunes that logic was.
They told her about some of the community programs they have available.  One of them offered her a place to live if getting kicked out was a concern!  They told her that through them she could get her crib, car seat, stroller, diapers, clothes...all for free.  Plus we have a program called Best Babies that supplies fresh fruit and veggies plus prenatals to expectant mothers.  And they also offer in home counselling.
I am worried though.  Really worried.  And this part may get long.  KC's mother, my sister, April, wanted another kid (because she did sooooo good with the first three) but due to health issues and then her addiction, no doctor would unclamp her tubes.  Now her daughter is having an infant, and she is moving into the same city.  I found out today that April and her new room mate, Renee (Who I cant STAND) told KC that she could live with them, then sign over gaurdianship to Renee for only as long as she is in school.  She would do all the work with the baby when she was home.  But, ya know, for when she was at class andd such.  REALLY???  I told KC that's called a babysitter, and you don't sign over guardianship to a babysitter.  But they told KC that that was a neccesity.  That pisses me off.  It's like they were trying to dupe her into giving over her baby.  I told KC that her mom isn't the best person to live with right now, she's facing moving back to the city she used in, and if she wanted out of grandmas house I would talk to Joey about her taking in one of our rooms.
They also told her that April could adopt the baby if she didn't want it.  Ya, cuz any court is going to give April the custody of an infant.  I'm worried that April is going to try and take over the baby as her own.  And KC has never had much of a spine when it comes to her mother.  I'm hoping as the baby grows, so does her strength.Another worry is the baby daddy.  Since he found out all he has pushed for is abortion abortion abortion.  Then all of a sudden, tonight, he does a 180 and tells her he wants to keep it and be a daddy.  And he will tell his parents.  They were going to do that tonight, but he says they will kick him out.  He is 17.  Why would he out of the blue change his mind like that?  It worries me.  She is already hormonal, scared, and vulnerable.  I'm worried he is promising her the stars when he has no intention of sticking around.  I mean, I figure, if your gonna bail, be upfront about it.  I'm going to message her tomorrow and see how the telling his parents went.
She isn't out of the miscarriage window yet though...so here's to hoping she keeps going strong and that regardless of what cucka gets chucked at her in the next nine months, she pulls it off courageously.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I gotta say it again, your neice is so blessed to have you there for her. It sounds like that counseling session will really help her make the choice that is best for her.....if only you could read the mind of the father! I would be concerned with that & the whole \"babysitting\" issue too. You are doing a great job as support for this young girl, I hope everything works out for the best.
HeidiRenae
HeidiRenae

Ooh, it definitely sounds like your sister wants to have that baby as her own. :( I have a really good girlfriend who\'s husband something like that happen with his first daughter. He had a one night stand with a stripper and she ended up pregnant and had the child. (Classy, I know). Anywho, the mom was on drugs couldn\'t raise a child, and my friend\'s husband was 16 or 17 and couldn\'t really do it on his own either. I don\'t know all of the details, but his parents (his mother really) said that he would need to sign over guardianship for the time being, and then they would get it all switched back when he got a little older and got on his feet. Most of this time he lived with his parents and his daughter, but about 6-7yrs later he married my friend. They have two daughters together now, 2 and 4 years old. My friend Cassy and her DH have fought over it several times over the last 5yrs or so, but she really wants to do whatever they have to do to get custody of his oldest daughter, now about 10yrs old. However, while her DH wants custody of his daughter, he\'s not willing to fight his parents, ruin their relationship and I\'m sure hurt his daughter in the process. His parents have said that they will empty out all of their savings to get a top lawyer and will do whatever they have to do to keep custody. They also said that if he and his wife were to \'get\' her back, they would have NO relationship with him ever again. Anyway, just thought I\'d share that and just one way that your neice\'s situation could end up like if her mom were to have guardianship. I hope everything works out for her and that sweet baby. If she does decide to keep her baby herself, she is going to need A LOT of help.