Update (More then a Year Later)

I only seem to come on here to vent or when I am really upset.  My health issues seem to be the same.  I still have a swollen lymph node on my neck which they have done another sonogram on and there has been no change since the last one which is good.  It still weirds me out that it has never gone away.  Something has to be causing it, my doctor doesn't seem worried though so I try not to be.  I am not sure if I ever talked about my scalp issues on here.  Where my part in my hair is I have a few itchy sore spots.  Both my doctor and my husband have looked at it and they didn't see anything.  At times it feels brusied and other times it is fairly itchy.  My doctor prescribed some medicated shampoo that is for topical healing.  So far I haven't noticed a difference.  Should I go back and tell her it's not working? IDK

My anxiety is really high right now for a variety of reasons.

My eldest child is once again skirting the line between passing/failing all their classes.  I read my last few journal entries from 2020 and in the last one I complained about the same thing (they did go one to pass their classes that year but a few were just barely and by the skin of their teeth).  I keep hoping they will finally not have to almost fail before they realize they have to put more effort into their work. Part of the problem I think is they have ADHD and although they have managed ok before high school since they started the upper grades it has all been more difficult for them.  I asked them if they wanted to try ADHD medication to see if that would help as we have never tried it before they got very defensive and straight up told me no and didn't want to talk about it.  I'll try again in a few weeks sometimes they have to think about for awhile before they are willing to listen.  Also my eldest has also been exploring their gender identity.  I think they might be trans but so far they haven't said that yet instead they have been inching closer and closer to the other gender.  They have a hard time talking to either me or my husband about it.  I am trying to be as supportive as I can and doing research about it but it is difficult when they will drop a new information on us and then not want to talk about it at all.  They have finally conceded that they need to talk to someone so I am researching therapists in our area that have experience with gender questioning teens that also take our insurance.  I think that they have needed to talk to someone for awhile they have a lot of anxiety that they cover over with overconfidence and anger. 

Thats it for now I guess I will try to update in the future.  I find  reading my old journal entries to be helpful to see how time passes and how as dire as things can look I have gotten through a lot.  

Please God help all those on this website who need peace and healing today.  Also please help my eldest as they are going through a lot right now help them to get the support and help they need.

EDIT: I checked my eldest grades this evening and they were actually a lot better.  So that is great now they just have to keep it up until the end of the semester.  Thank you God and please help them to continue to be deligent.