Update June 2023
Hi All (if anyone is still out there! :) ),
MNN asked me to journal so what the heck. I'll throw some thoughts out there. It's been a long time.
Overall, life is good.
Let's see, where to start... personal - I got married in October 2022 to the woman that I met on match.com in July 2019. So far, so good. Never perfect, of course! But we are doing well...
Over time we realized that my house (rather than her condo - which is actually really nice) would be our destination for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which my daughter is still in school in my town. We decided that it would be better if my house had another full bathroom (it has only one) and that led us down the rabbit hole.. Long, long story about flood zone permits and other crazy stuff omitted... In the end we decided to build a new master bedroom suite above the garage. It's almost done... We've been living in a construction zone for 6 months and of course it is costing a fortune. But almost done...
My daughter is doing well. She finished her sophmore year of high school with high honors! I'm so proud of her! I was so worried when she was younger that she never practised her activities and never stuck with anything - pretty much quit everything that she started. But at least she has applied herself academically and is doing great. :) She also seems to have a good friend group of both boys and girls who seem to be in the "nerdy/artsy" group. That works for me.
Work remains pretty crazy, but not as bad as it used to be. I can actually get by with a 40-50 hour work week now (yay!) even if I am checking in on things at 8pm, 11pm, etc. Still a lot of stress and layoffs may be approaching (I'm unlikely to be laid off but I may have to lay off a couple of my people :( ). So it's better I guess. My company's stock has gone up a lot so that actually increases my income for the next couple years if it holds up.
Former band dried up, I rejoined oldies band, no stress or tension with that band! It's been fun! We played at my wedding :). Try being the guy who organized the wedding, the groom, and the lead guitarist of the band! Hah, it was nuts. But I'll pat myself on the back - I was ON POINT that day. :) Not even nervous!
Anyway, that band had a couple personnel changes but I am basically going to take over as band leader now. And we have a great core - guitar, bass, drums, keys. We just need a lead singer. I can do a little singing and the bassist can do a little also but I think if we got a strong lead singer we would be a REALLY solid band in this area - one of the best. So... likely to be a long search in the CT suburbs but we'll see who we can find. But anyway, they are good people and the past band drama is gone now. I don't need that crap. My current bandmates are great. It makes Thursday night (band practice!) the highlight of my week!
So yeah, that's about it. Many moving parts but things are going well. I look forward to some down time - I have a week off in August. I also very much look forward to this addition project being done. Since I work from home it has been nuts with contractors showing up here and there, sometimes expected and sometimes not, for 6 months. But it will be worth it in the end.
Hope anyone still here and reading this is doing well and hanging in there through all the crap that life throws at us. Be well!
-Steppin'.
Replies
I like the idea of you guys staying in your home after the wedding, but remodeling it a bit to make it a 'new marital space' - I can only imagine the crazy of working from home during construction! Nooo thank you lol. But I'm sure it's going to all be worth it in the end.
I'm glad to hear your daughter is doing well! Watch out dad.. don't blink she'll be graduating before you know it : )
I still can't believe you're married.. but I'm also excited for your new adventures with your new family dynamic!
I recently started online dating again.. just casually, haven't met in person with anyone yet.. just texting a little here and there.. but honestly it's so time consuming and it's so much work to start from Go with every interaction.. some nights when I'm bored I have fun with it.. other times life gets crazy and I just can't spare the energy - I haven't connected with anyone enough yet that I can bow out for a few days to weeks without losing their interest.. and to be honest im ok with that at this point too.. I've got too much stress on my plate to manage adding much more, I'd rather take fun and distraction over jealousy and confrontation any day of the week. - every year that passes, being and staying single just gets more and more appealing.. lol - but that's just me!
I'm glad you found your person who supports your love of music and the arts - maybe invite your daughter to audition for your band? Bring in some younger vibes ; )
Thanks for sharing an updated journal, you sound happy, content and full of new adventures - now if you would just FINALLY add that last piece of the puzzle - retirement. You'd be set!
Wishing you well Steppin, always.
MNN
Thanks for your response MNN!
I can't believe I'm married either! I can say truthfully that things are going well and, in a way, even better than before we were married. I'm pretty jaded at this point but I'm always willing to be cautiously optimistic and I am going to give "us" every chance we can to succeed. :)
Glad you are dipping into the dating scene again. Just take from it whatever positives you can. Go with your gut as far as whether to put more effort in or enjoy your single life. Honestly, at our age (I think we are similar) there are pros/cons to either approach. When I was dating on match one of my neighbor friends (male) said "are you sure that's what you want?" And I said... hmm, I think so? But yeah, there is no one right answer.
My wife does support my guitar/music hobby (obsession?) and that's cool. One thing about my house is that my downstairs is divided between my office/man cave type room (with guitars, amps, weights, TV) - and the other unfinished side is the band room. PA system, drum set, more music gear, and also random storage and mess. So... With the new addition, the bedroom is big and we have designated one side of the room to be HER space. Couch/TV/electric fireplace (that I need to build this weekend! :) ). And since we will have an extra bedroom, she will have an office space as well in a different room. So I think we are morphing this good house into a great house! Not bad for a 1960s raised ranch!
My daughter - would love to get her involved in the band but she is too shy. Singing lessons didn't last long and even though she loves theater, her acting also faded away and now she works the crew for the high school theater. That said, she's great at it! She's going to be running the sound board and heck, she can do that at my gigs too! :) Did I mention how proud I am of her high honors? :)
Retirement... YES! It's still in my sights but this is my year of bleeding money... ugh. But yeah, I keep saying it.. Maybe 3 more years. We'll see.
Wishing you well MNN also, as always. You have been my parenting role model since 2015, in a sense. And a fellow traveler on this journey.
Best wishes,
-Steppin'.
You sound busy! At a 40 to 50 working hour week, where do you make time for family, hobby, and lovemaking sessions with your newlywed bride? By the way, congratulations on all of your culminating success and home improvement endeavors.