update from earlier today

well i talked to my lanlord and im not getting evicted after all.thank god. i was freaking out.I think im getting stronger. I felt the urge to cut and kill myself all day but i refrained from it because i kept telling myself i have a future and this is just small stuff . Im kind of proud of myself. Im happy right now.Im a lucky girl even though Danielle doesnt want me as a gf or even as a friend. she is there for me at all times. I miss our friendship but im greatful she still cares about me. her whole family does when i was in the hospital they were there for me as if they were my own family. Its hard not seeing them all the time because i got so close to them too. its weird but i even miss her grand parents. haha . I feel really good right now. Im just counting my blessings and not what i dont have for once and it feels so good! cause i do have it good. A roof over my head, food in my mouth, clothes and shoes, heat,friends and family. My health isnt the best but its better than alot of other peoples. Im just feeling blessed!