Update for the week.

I’ve been working at pulling myself out of this blue funk all week. Although I am still cheating on my diet, I am doing my exercises. I manage to tidy the main rooms of the house and I’m even keeping up with the laundry (there is much less laundry now since Skye moved out).  But I seem to be on auto pilot, like I am not really present.  I don’t feel really sad, but I don’t feel happy either.  A friend stopped in for a short visit Friday which brought me out a little.  Yesterday, Skye’s babysitter walked by with her black lab puppy while I had my dogs out. So, I invited her to sit on the deck swing with me and we visited while the dogs played together and again I felt a little more alive.  Skye and her boyfriend came home Saturday.  Don made a breakfast burrito brunch which they really appreciated.  We visited as though nothing was different.  Don was proud of me because I kept my tone light and friendly, but I certainly felt the void between Skye and me.  I suspect Skye felt it, too. I don’t know if it is because of residual hurt feelings or my intense worry about her – probably a combination of both.  The only job she has applied for is a convenience store clerk.  I expressed my concern that those places and casinos seem to be the preferred mark for burglars, and she agreed to send out more applications this week.  She can’t have cats or dogs in her apartment, but she can have caged animals, so her boyfriend bought her a rat….yes, a rat!  Named Yolandy.  At least they didn’t bring the rat home.  I will say that Skye and her puppy, Cudi, were very excited to see each other.  Skye and I kissed and hugged goodbye and said our love yous, but it felt so superficial. I wanted to feel thrilled that she was home and excited about her new adventure, but I just didn’t feel much of anything except worry.  Maybe I felt like this when our older kids left home, but that was so looong ago! And, I had little Skye to distract me then.  Perhaps I just need more time to adjust to Skye's change of direction, so I'll keep pushing through and praying.  My symptoms have been fairly quiet all week.  They should be – I haven’t exerted myself at all.  The fall weather is beautiful, so I’ll take the dogs out and try to just appreciate the day.