Update

So, since last Fall, I have only texted a couple times with DD25. SO sent her a Christmas card and check which she texted me and thankEd me for and I got a Happy Bithday text on my birthday. That is all. I have answered her texts with simple "Your welcome" or "Thank you" and told her I hope all is well with her. 

Two weeks ago, I was talking with my XMIL who told me DD25 and her SO we're moving to North Carolina from Maui. She didn't say when, but this didn't surprise me as her SO grew up in North Carolina and DD25 also wanted to get back to he mainland. So, I texted her a simple "❤ 6 more weeks" as I am going to Maui next month to babysit my new grandson there from DD33. She texted me back and said she'd call me this week. She did last night. I had talked to DD33 this week who gave me the specifics of her sister's move. They are flying to Iowa the first week in May, getting her car from her father's house then driving to NC. DD25 told me they're flying into Chicago because it's cheaper and then will be in Iowa a short time to get her clothes from her father's house. Never did she mention seeing me knowing I won't unless she were to stay with me equal time. She didn't tell me the date they were flying in or when they would be here. This all just tells me that her father is picking them up and they are staying only at his house. At least she realized that nothing was going to change, so it was best not for her to tell me. She knows she could have a close relationship with me if she just was willing to divide her time equally between her parents as my older 2 do. 

I could tell she hadn't planned on telling me about the specifics of her trip back and, when I told her I had heard she was going to be here, she started making excuses...how they were only stopping through to get her car and clothe...blah, blah, blah...

It hurts knowing she spent 10 days with THEM last Fall, saw them when they were in Maui last month visiting new grandbaby and now will see them again. She might as well look me in the face and say, "I love Dad and his wife more than you." I told her last Fall how I felt and she didn't care saying I shouldn't feel that way. I told HER that actions speak louder than words and her actions told me everything I need to know. 

I did tell her to let me know when she was settled in NC and I would come visit. One of her best  friends growing up now lives in NC and she said we could visit her and her mom who used to be a friend of mine also. I told her that sounded fun.

Although it hurts, I will not let her or anyone for that matter to treatment like my feelings don't matter. I deserve to be treated with the same loved respect that her father gets from her and until she's willing to do that, this is what it is. I still believe one day...when she gets married or has a baby, things will turn around. And, so I wait....

Luckily, I have he support of my husband, friends and co-workers. I work with people my kids' ages and they can't imagine treating their mother the way my daughter is treating me. That means alot.