Update 11/30

The results came in, it's breast cancer, Stage 4. Survival rate at 5 years is 20%. Survival rate at 5 years Stage 1 is 100%.

Okay, I will accept Becky's communications as positive. It really doesn't make a difference anyway, except for my feelings, which are not a priority right now. This is serious. My sister had asked me to come last week, and really wasn't ready for me to leave...but I made a stupid mistake. I was home with Jack and texted, "I am so tired and ready to come home." to my husband...I thought...then I saw the previous comment, and I had accidently sent it to my sister...sigh...I scrambled, but there is no way to delete a text once it is sent, not that I could find. So, I just fessed up...texted, "Oh crap, that was for Steve." She was on her way home from the hospital, so I sat on my hands and waited. Fortunately she has a good sense of humor and just laughed about it. This was Tuesday. I was planning on coming home Wednesday anyway and she told me I could go ahead and leave if I needed to, but I said I was fine, just tired.

She works 12 hour shifts, every other week. On the weeks she is working, Becky's mom is going to keep Jack, and the weeks she is off, she will have him. She asked me to come help her the weeks she is off, at least until she adjusts to the new routine. Becky is a teacher, and Jack attends the school she teaches at, so Lori has never had to take him to or pick him up from school. They divided up tasks, and she just feels uncertain about handling everything on her own...plus she needs me for moral support. She told me if I had not been with her the past few days she didn't know what she would have done. I would never want to crowd her, but if my sister calls for me, I am going. Nearly a whole year after I lost Cassi, she came and stayed with me every other week when she was off. It's my turn to be there for her, and I will. I'd much rather be in my own home with my husband and my dogs...but I talked to her and told her she snd Jack are my priorities right now, and if she needs me I will be there, regardless...

I am pretty pissed off right now. Jack is so dependent on Becky. I didn't say this before, but Becky hated going to the doctor, more than most people. She has not been to one since she had Jack. She didn't even go back for her 6 week check-up after he was born. She is morbidly obese, and didn't want to get weighed or hear the doctor lecture her. I don't know if she really wasn't worried about the lump, but the fact remains, she has a small child, very dependent, and has not seen a doctor in nearly 8 years. 

I am just really upset. I will have to write more later...