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My supervisor suggested I get and read two books, and I have. And I have made notes and condensed one for my continuous reading. The two books are by Pema Chodron, a Budhist nun and after reading several Buddhist books in the past (the ones I accidentally ran across yesterday in the attic looking for something else, a Bible no less) these two have had the greatest impact yet. Both are what I am ready to undersdtand now that I was not ready to understand before. It is more philosophy of mind control for attention and thinking and feeling, and training myself to give up judging as the black or white ultimatum thinking and processing of my life experiences.
Some of the things and ideas I am understanding I have been relating to Dave lately, like Loving-kindness, compassion, rejoicing, and equinimity. All good things to learn to do to the self BEFORE doing it, or restricting it, to others. Projecting is out of balance between sending and taking; and doing for others without doing the same loving=kindness to the self may indicate a denial of self-worth for the very love and caring you are giving to others that you desire for the self. Unfortunately, no one can give you the loving-kindness that you need to learn to give yourself, and the compassion you may use to treat others for forgiving their "mistakes" that you really desire for yourself. Forgetting to love youself, without being arrogant and narcissistic, is a whole new perspective habit for me to learn. Caring for anyone and everone but myself is an error I probably need to correct, as others may need to do also, in order to accept life's happiness more easily. To deny myself the very love and affection and desires for well-being that I give others is a punishment to myself. I deserve to care for myself, and my welfare and good wishes, just like I do for others, more especially my loves, family, and friends; including the ones on DS.
Sunday I visited a Shambala Training Center that I have been aware of for a couple of years but never visited. My current interest is just that, an interest. My first conclusion is that the meditation practices (prayer, attention) is much more suitable for introverts than extroverts, considering meditation is often a solitary and private activity, and used to improve the self and not others' experiences. There are other religious denominations for extroverts that are more publically sharing and 'superficial' (my word) for how it is doen and its purpose: a sense of community and "we-ness". Since my natural proclivity is to experience life internally, the privacy of thought and self awareness are extremely valuable to me, so this style (at this point in resesarching my interest in it) suits me well, and my intentions: to improve my life experiences' interpretations.
The two books are "The Places that Scare You" and "When Things Fall Apart", by Pema Chodron.
My opinion in-the-now is that these teachings are considerably deep enough to satisfy my previous interests in Unity Church's perceptions, and Celebration Circle's perceptions and approaches to spirituality. At the moment this is the next step in my evolution. I will continue to learn and analyze the logic and functional use of the teachings; and at the moment have no illusions or desires to become "A Buddhist". I tend to collect knowledge, for my own happiness, and share it as the circumstances afford, with the intention of helping through choice, not domination or control. What works for me may not, and usually doesn't, work for others. I'm Okay with that; and I respect that. My actions will speak for me, in how I learn to control my own self and thoughts. I will gladly share when asked, without forcing any view on anyone. I believe all our learning is synchronistic, and happens right on cue, when we are ready for the "next step" in our own evolution for experiencing life as a unique human spirit. In fact, as a co-dependent, I have found the "we"-ness factor to be an invalidation of my self's unique perspective on life.
Worry, or be happy; or be neither; just be. Just being, without an ego to judge the external world's passing as "good" or "bad" can be a learned relief from a life time of frustration over a lack of control; whenthe actual control desire is for the self, not the external world.
Pretty heady stuff.
Blessings for happiness, to you, and to me.
;>)
Some of the things and ideas I am understanding I have been relating to Dave lately, like Loving-kindness, compassion, rejoicing, and equinimity. All good things to learn to do to the self BEFORE doing it, or restricting it, to others. Projecting is out of balance between sending and taking; and doing for others without doing the same loving=kindness to the self may indicate a denial of self-worth for the very love and caring you are giving to others that you desire for the self. Unfortunately, no one can give you the loving-kindness that you need to learn to give yourself, and the compassion you may use to treat others for forgiving their "mistakes" that you really desire for yourself. Forgetting to love youself, without being arrogant and narcissistic, is a whole new perspective habit for me to learn. Caring for anyone and everone but myself is an error I probably need to correct, as others may need to do also, in order to accept life's happiness more easily. To deny myself the very love and affection and desires for well-being that I give others is a punishment to myself. I deserve to care for myself, and my welfare and good wishes, just like I do for others, more especially my loves, family, and friends; including the ones on DS.
Sunday I visited a Shambala Training Center that I have been aware of for a couple of years but never visited. My current interest is just that, an interest. My first conclusion is that the meditation practices (prayer, attention) is much more suitable for introverts than extroverts, considering meditation is often a solitary and private activity, and used to improve the self and not others' experiences. There are other religious denominations for extroverts that are more publically sharing and 'superficial' (my word) for how it is doen and its purpose: a sense of community and "we-ness". Since my natural proclivity is to experience life internally, the privacy of thought and self awareness are extremely valuable to me, so this style (at this point in resesarching my interest in it) suits me well, and my intentions: to improve my life experiences' interpretations.
The two books are "The Places that Scare You" and "When Things Fall Apart", by Pema Chodron.
My opinion in-the-now is that these teachings are considerably deep enough to satisfy my previous interests in Unity Church's perceptions, and Celebration Circle's perceptions and approaches to spirituality. At the moment this is the next step in my evolution. I will continue to learn and analyze the logic and functional use of the teachings; and at the moment have no illusions or desires to become "A Buddhist". I tend to collect knowledge, for my own happiness, and share it as the circumstances afford, with the intention of helping through choice, not domination or control. What works for me may not, and usually doesn't, work for others. I'm Okay with that; and I respect that. My actions will speak for me, in how I learn to control my own self and thoughts. I will gladly share when asked, without forcing any view on anyone. I believe all our learning is synchronistic, and happens right on cue, when we are ready for the "next step" in our own evolution for experiencing life as a unique human spirit. In fact, as a co-dependent, I have found the "we"-ness factor to be an invalidation of my self's unique perspective on life.
Worry, or be happy; or be neither; just be. Just being, without an ego to judge the external world's passing as "good" or "bad" can be a learned relief from a life time of frustration over a lack of control; whenthe actual control desire is for the self, not the external world.
Pretty heady stuff.
Blessings for happiness, to you, and to me.
;>)
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