Up date
Have not wrote much lately. Things have been stressfull,and I do not know why I wake up sick every day and fight through it.This time of year is always hard,and being so alone does not help. I have seen my grand children this week,that always helps,I have 12,from 2 to 28. Every body life is busy and I understand they can not come around much, but family and friends are important,and my only friends are here.The sun is shining a little cool. Wish I could get out and enjoy it. My anxiety is up and makes it hard to enjoy life. Doctors do not seem to care just want to hand you pills. My preacher canceled our counceling for to day I needed that. I have mu regular one next week ,wish i felt better,but I will push through with gods help. Till next time.
Replies
squarley , i\'m so sorry u are feeling so lonely . i was thinking about my friends here and your name came to mind and then by coincidence i saw your entry . god does work in mysterious ways . i understand that u have had terrible losses in your life and that physical pain in itself is its own kind of loss . if u need extra support i am online very often and would welcome the chance to chat . i hope journaling your feelings helped some . i journaled for the first time yesterday and i\'m not sure if it helped or not . u are in my thoughts and prayers .
Thank you so much barri, just knowing people care helps, The prayers will help to, hope you are doing ok,and my heart thanks you from the very bottom,love ya
hello its susan yes i was getting a bit worried about you im so sorry you feel so bad i know what you mean when something you need is cancelled if it helps my week has been grim you are not alone i am here for you sending love and prayers
Thinking of you my sweet friend.
Thank you all!!
Life sure isn\'t fair is it...I am still having such a hard time with the loss of my son, but I wanted to tell you I understand how it feels to be so lonely...I have my house up for sell and moving into a condo with other retired people..I hope it will help with the loneliness!! Big hug!
Thank you \' I Miss my Denise and it will be 7 years in Jan. Life is not fair then on top of that I have all these health issues I told my husband if any thing happens to him I doing the same thing moving to a retirement home,I hopeit works out for you,I have had my condo for sale for two years and no luck ,I hope you have better luck,let me know,big big hug.
To not feel well on a daily basis has to be so challenging my friend. I\'m sorry... just wish you could find the relief that you need. You are blessed with many grandchildren and I know what an upper they can be. Hope they can come to visit as often as possible.
Sorry that your counseling appointment was cancelled as I understand how important those are.
Have a gentle evening and the sunshine for me always helps... even if it is a bit cool. :)
Hugs, Joanie
I am so sorry that you are sick everyday...it must be so difficult. Wow...12 grandchildren! That is awesome...I guess you never know when one might drop by...which is kinda neat. I hope that the next counseling session is helpful...Love and hugs...Karen
My sweet friend,
What you are experiencing is very common. I almost said \"normal\", but caught myself. You are obviously a fighter. You give life your all and enjoy every minute you can, even in your unusual circumstances.
But, dear Squarley, though you may be extraordinary in that regard, you are also human. One day, you wake up and tell yourself that you just can\'t go on. But, before you do give up, think about this. Why can\'t you go on? Well, because you are tired. Well, why are you tired? Because you fight so hard for yourself. Well, what should you do? Rest.
Think about it. In the \"real\" world, people go to jobs and work hard every day. After several days or weeks of working so hard, what happens? They get tired. Then what do they need? Rest.
You are fighting for your very sanity, a difficult job under any circumstances, but the death of your loved ones weighs even harder. Squarley, my love, it is OK to take a day off and rest.
Now, mind you, I\'m not encouraging curling up under the blankets and ignoring the world! That\'s encouraging depression! Maybe giving you an example of one of my \"rest\" days will help.
First, I took a hot shower and put on clean jammies. Then, on my nightstand, I had tissues, a cold (non-alcoholic) drink, a crossword puzzle book and a new book from the library. I also had my son make me Ramen noodles a couple of times. (I explained ahead of time what I was doing so he wouldn\'t worry)
I kept the shades up so the sun would shine in. I thought of funny \"Jackie\" stories and made myself laugh. (Then I had to tell my son what was so funny and laughed again) I did not take a nap. I also did not think about bills, my health, my knees, the housework or my errands. They could wait 24 hours! And yes, it worked.
I woke up the next day ready to live all over again. With your illnesses, maybe this would work for you, my sweet warrior friend. Just a thought.
And btw, I\'m finding myself drawn to you even more, lately. Maybe someday, I\'ll have a real BFF???
I know with meds it takes a few to find one that strikes a balance within the cells of the brain. Once there is balance in the bodies chemestry you can feel better. Sometimes the ancent chinese healing sounds better. You will find a balance that works for you. Remember time will tell. It is all trial and error (that is medicine).
I hope you will find peace soon..
Hugs Penny
Thank you all so much for caring,sending love out to you all.